Freedom is Fleeting

Hello freedom!

You taste nearly as sweet as I dreamt you would. Still, my thoughts are completely scattered right now. I'm having so much trouble focusing. I think it's because I know that I'm still not completely finished. I still need to finish one more web design contract and check off a million to-dos from my ever-growing list.

On the plus side, it turns out, I aced my last grad class this semester which gives me a 3.9 cumulative GPA for my graduate record. I'm stoked. Moreover, I talked to my co-worker Kerri today who offered to hook me up with a great recruiter. Everyone is being so helpful right now, I just hope the job I'm picturing in my head exists somewhere... somewhere on the north shore even.

Today I noticed that my checking account was overdrawn by $39. NOT good. Fortunately, I sold a graphics card on craigslist yesterday and picked up $50 cash for that first thing this morning. A trip to Market Basket for Corn flakes, bread, and honey served as a proper turning point into my newfound financial status: "broke." Next on the list, applying for deferment on my loans until such time as I am gainfully employed.

It's 3 o'clock now, and I'm kicking myself for not checking the surf report last night. Apparently Hampton was hitting perfectly today, and I'm absolutely dying to get in the water. Heck, I'm dying to just get out and exert some energy. This is the type of distraction that's keeping me from finishing this website. Maybe I'll hit the gym.

[edit: 3:18] I'm going to the gym.

Tabula Rasa

A surge of electrical current has just rushed through my brain, and leapt over a vast synapse that, until now, resided un-traversed in my mind. The connection now bridges two very large and important entities in my mind in a way that they have never been connected.

Up until now, the idea of college and what it means to me has always had a connection with the career path that lay before me. Today however, the very idea of college is falling into the past-tense. The seemingly unending list of objectives that have been on my plate for 6 and 1/2 years now are finally being completed.

At 10:23pm, I clicked "send" on an email composed to a professor I've studied under for the past two years. I sent him a copy of my resumé for review. This action marks the beginning of my search for a career. I'm not one to take note of major landmarks in my life as I pass them by, but this one caught me off guard. What an unbelievable place I am currently standing in! This marks a time to consider the road ahead, to remember the path I traveled to get here, and to revisit the things I learned along the way.

I feel like I've been handed a "tabula rasa." So, in the interest of being a meditative human being; and in order to expose my curiosity and inspiration to others, I started this blog. This is something I've been meaning to do for some time now, but I there was something holding me back... I needed an impetus, and I needed the right title. Tonight I've found both.

Welcome to Human Magic Marker, a new slate on which I will try my best to arrange my disorganized thoughts. The title, most will guess, pays tribute to my favorite song, Redefine, by Incubus...

"Imagine your brain as a canister filled with ink.
Yeah, now think of your body as the pen where the ink resides.
Fuse the two - KAPOW!
What are you now?
You're the human magic marker, won't you please surprise my eyes?
It's in your nature, you can paint whatever picture you like,
No matter what Ted Koppel says on channel 4 tonight
So modify this third rock from the sun
By painting myriads of pictures with the colors of one
I'm sick of painting in black and white
My pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself to fit your definition.
Picture the scene, where whatever you thought,
Would, in the blink of an eye, manifest and become illustrated.
You'd be sure man that every line drawn
Reflected a life that you loved not an existence that you hated
So, must we demonstrate that we can't get it straight?
We've painted a picture, now we're drowning in paint.
Let's figure out what the fuck it's about
Before the picture we painted chews us up and spits us out.
I'm sick of painting in black and white
My pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself to fit your definition.
Redefine."

Peace, love and happiness,
Adam N. Fraser