The Virgin Homeowner

So much for keeping up with my life on here. If I had been writing even once a month, I might have at least mentioned that Ashley and I put an offer on a house on True Road in Salisbury. I might have also talked about the insanely frustrating process of counteroffers. Then there was the ridiculously expensive and disappointing home inspection. But I haven't written a damn thing for months, so it looks like I've got a lot of catching up to do.

The house we found is a modest 1400 square foot ranch sitting on a not-so-modest 1.37 acre plot which is quite beautifully landscaped with gardens all around and a pond with ducks and frogs in the back. It has a large, sunny living room, a beautiful country kitchen with an island that opens into a dining room with a fireplace, 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. All the appliances in the kitchen are new, as are the washer and dryer in the big basement. To top it all off, a 2 level deck and patio are attached to the back of the house overlooking the amazingly peaceful backyard. We loved the place the first time we saw it, and couldn't help but fantasize about getting married in the back yard.

While the property appeared near-perfect, the location was even better: a 5 minute drive from my parents, and less than 10 minutes to the train station and the beach. So we got a pre-approval letter from the bank and made an offer. They countered, then we countered, and they countered again, and we agreed and rewrote contract... and then they decided they weren't going to sign it and were going to stick with their asking price. Apparently they weren't in a rush to sell and were confident they could get asking price in the fall if need be. Whatever, we caved and said yes.

Frustrated with the first steps of the process, we set out to looking for an inspector. After talking to several different people, we landed on a guy from Gloucester with over 30 years of experience. Not only was he the most experienced inspector I talked to, but also the most available... and unfortunately the most expensive. Nevertheless, we met at the house last Wednesday along with our agent and the sellers agent, and started picking the house apart. We learned everything about every system in the house, from the oil tank, to the boiler, to the electrical service, plumbing, insulation, chimney, roof, siding... everything. We started inside and by the time we got outside, there weren't any major issues to speak of, just an aging oil tank, an outdated electrical service, and a bit of "damp house syndrome" which would mean we'd need to run a dehumidifier in the basement 3 seasons out of the year to help prevent mold and mildew in the basement and attic.

Unfortunately, once outside, our inspector noticed a window with some pretty nasty termite damage. The sellers statement mentioned installing a termite extermination system 6 years ago, but somehow this didn't strike us as a big problem. "So what?" we must have thought, "They're gone now, right?" Well, maybe, but even if they are that doesn't mean that didn't turn the house into swiss-cheese before they were eliminated. This was the worst news ever. It wasn't something that we could even put a price tag to, because the damage can't be assessed without tearing open the walls.

I was home sick the following day, so I made some phone calls to other experts, not the least of which was my uncle. His sister had contracted him to replace some damaged siding on her house some years back. He brought his tools and started tearing off the damaged parts starting at the a small visible spot on the outside, but as he took the siding off, he found the structure behind them was completely destroyed. It wasn't until he removed the entire front of the house that he could comprehend the extent of the damage. "I hate to tell ya this, but it sounds like a 'walk away' deal to me, Adam." It was hard to hear, but it was what I needed to hear for reality to really sink in.

Still, the seller's agent wasn't buying that it was actually termite damage even though the inspector seemed sure of it, and even though it was directly above a termite bait station. We ended up having a pest inspector come in the following day to confirm, yes, it was caused by termites, and state multiple times to us in front of the seller's agent "I would not, NOT buy the house because of termites." Thanks JACKOFF, I'll look forward to doing business with someone else if I do buy the house.

No surprise, in the end things fell through. We weren't willing to risk buying the house as-is, and they weren't willing to meet our requests. It was a learning experience. Next time around, I think we'll be much better prepared to start out asking the hard questions straight off before going through inspection. We've learned who to trust for advice, and what to expect from the different parties involved. I just hope we're able to find something better in the months to come.