Human Magic Marker

Four years

2010-10-04T18:56:00.001-04:00

My love, you're electric
your vibe is kinetic, and it resonates like a tuning fork in me
I'm in love with your aesthetic
a taste so eclectic that you may be from another galaxy.

Maybe it's fate
or maybe you're my soul mate, but I know one thing's for sure
my state is elation when I tune in to your station
and I can't help but want more.

We'll swim in the fountain
we'll climb all the mountains, and we might turn down the wrong path
And the last time we did that, our legs they were shaking
but we still couldn't help but laugh.

You're the one that I'll stay with
one hundred years and a day with. You know that I'm going to try.
I'll be the boy you want to play with, go on your first and last date with,
and you'll never even have to question why.

So wake up and rub your kaleidoscope eyes
let's walk down to the beach, all we need's our bare feet
and we'll watch the sun rise on the rest of our lives.

September

2010-09-14T10:49:00.000-04:00

The sweet scent of summer air
is wafting through my lover's hair.
I drink it in and hold it there
for Fall is drawing ever near.

The freckles on her face I see
will soon be lost in rustling leaves.
I kiss them sweetly in the sun
and feel the crispness of the air.

An apple resting on the ground
and in her hair a golden brown
She wears the season like a smile
Autumn you are finally here.

The life of Roger Brockelbank

2010-09-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

Below is the eulogy for my grandfather, Roger Brockelbank, as written by my mother. After his recent passing, I started writing about him myself, but after hearing my mother's take on it, I realized that I could never paint the picture quite as well as she did...

An engineers cap, a dungaree coat, a black truck and a German shepherd at his side; if I say these words to you and one person’s name doesn’t come to mind, then you never knew my father Roger Brockelbank. These words were the epitome of him but there was so much more to the man. Roger was a loving son, devoted husband, adoring father and grandfather and caring friend. He had a deep passion for animals especially dogs and cats and gave a warm loving home to many. He was an avid woodworker, sports enthusiast especially football ( go Patriots!) and a music lover particularly smooth jazz. He was the hardest working man I have ever known. My father led a simple, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. He gave a lot and asked very little in return.

Roger was born August 9, 1930, at the height of the depression to a family of little means. His father was non-existent in his life and life wasn’t easy for his mother being a single parent. His mother did marry a wonderful man, Fred Sturtevant, when he was 11 years old, but sadly, he died at the young age of 53. As a young child my father quickly learned if he were to have any of his dreams come true, he would have to work to make it happen. This was the jumping off point of my father’s incredible work ethic. At the age of 11 Roger joined the work force delivering newspapers in his hometown of Ipswich. He had 75 customers during the week and on weekends he and his friend, Gump Stone, delivered the Sunday paper to 250 customers. They met the train in the early morning hours on Sunday, put the sections of the paper together at the Ipswich paper store, loaded the papers onto a huge wooded push cart and pushed that heavy cart house to house. The Sunday paper was 23 cents. He and Gump made a whopping 3 cents per paper. A constant companion as he worked…a German shepherd named Skipper. Skipper’s owner, Arthur Philpot, came to realize his dog had chosen a new master. Arthur showed up at my dad’s house one day with a leash, dish and food. “This dog loves you and I know you’ll take good care of him,” he said. When my dad came home from school Skipper would run to the door with the newspaper bag in his mouth ready for work. Skipper and dad were together for many years. Dad’s life was richer for the time spent with him.

Dad met my mother, Jackie, when they were in their mid teens and on July 8, 1951 they were married. He was 20 and she was only 18. “They Tried to Tell Us We’re Too Young,” was their song because their parents did just that. After 59 years of marriage I guess they told them!

Roger worked as a mechanic in his teens and twenties and through his service with the Marine Corps from 1952-54. The role he was born to play came between 1953 and 1958. My dad became a father to three children, my sister, Cheryl, my brother, Scott and myself. For a man who’s father was absent in his life he excelled as a dad. How lucky for the three of us that he was our dad!

Our family resided in Ipswich until Nov.22, 1963. The saddest day for our country became the happiest for the Brockelbank family. Dad was offered a job as caretaker on a 60 acre estate in Wenham and the home of The Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur. Jim Scahill, the caretaker at the Ipswich novitiate recommended dad for the job. “Is he Catholic?” Sister Superior asked Jim. Jim replied, “No, but he the man for the job.” My father spent the next 27 years proving just that.

Dad hit the ground running. There was so much to do and so much to learn. A man was sent to tutor dad on the inner workings or heartbeat of the convent, the boiler and pumping system. Bill Murphy was the “go to guy” on the subject of boilers. Bill took my father under his wing and for weeks guided him through the complex heating and plumbing system. Dad and Bill became fast friends. They were cut from the same fabric. Their work ethic was impeccable. Bill was a true country gentleman. On the job he wore his old work clothes. When he popped in for a visit on a Sunday he wore a collared shirt, cashmere sweater, dress slacks and wing-tipped shoes. Dad liked that. He’d say, “Mr. Murphy is a classy guy. ”Bill and my dad would sit at the kitchen table sipping coffee on a Sunday and the conversation would go on for hours and hours. Both had an insatiable gift to gab. Bill was a role model, a mentor and a father figure to my dad. Sadly Bill passed away in his 60’s over 30 years ago. My dad cried over the loss of his dear friend but his life was richer having known him.

My father took his job at Notre Dame as serious as a heart attack. The big black truck with Baron, his German shepherd, in the back was ever present around the property. Everyday he dove headfirst into work. Plowing and shoveling in winter, spring clean-up, mowing and raking in the summer, leaf blowing and more raking in the fall, as well as electrical and plumbing repairs, painting, car repairs and the list goes on. Dad became a workaholic. On occasion us kids would help out or the Sisters would lend a hand which was sometimes helpful…. sometimes not. A group of Sister’s and I helped dad with spring clean-up one year. The end result left my dad’s truck stuck in the mud up to the bumper on the road to the dump. When my dad arrived on the scene one sister was behind the wheel with the peddle to the metal, gunning the engine and three sisters and I were at the back of the truck, pushing, covered in mud from head to toe. My father just shook his head as he went to the garage to find something to extract his truck with. Another time, however, three sisters helped my dad carry a snow blower up two flights of stairs so he wouldn’t have to shovel off an entire flat roof. I guess it all balances out.

My father would often recruit our help when doing a two-man job. He had no sanding truck on the estate. Instead he had to throw sand from the back of the truck with a shovel. He instructed me on the art of throwing sand so it would fan across the roadway. “O.K., I can do that,” I said. Dad inched the truck forward, I dug my shovel into the sand and let it fly. That sand landed like a nice big cow plop at the side of the road. It was absolutely pathetic. My father came to the back of the truck, lifted me to the ground and marched me to the cab of the truck. “Plan B,” he said. I quickly said a little prayer that my driving skills would far surpass my sanding skills. A little instruction from dad and away we went down the main driveway, dad throwing sand like the pro he was and me driving like I was born to do it. My father took a leap of faith that day. I’m so glad I didn’t disappoint.

In 1965, my father nearly lost his life in an explosion on the estate. He sustained second and third degree burns over 40 percent of his body. The entire order of Sisters of Notre Dame prayed for his recovery. How blessed we were to have him in our lives for another 45 years.

As for my dad’s happiest times, I can say without a doubt he was in his glory at home with us, his family. He was a “get down on the floor and play” kind of dad. Suppertime was most important to him. To sit around the table and connect through conversation, stories and the day’s events tied us together with a common thread. Our family was and still is close, and my father made sure every doctor and nurse at Burlington Lahey was aware of our bond. Sunday’s were a family day growing up. It was a day for being home with each other, a day for dad to stack his record albums on the stereo and fill the house with music. Did I tell you my father was a music lover? For a man with no musical talent he had great taste in music. We grew up on such jazz greats as Erroll Garner, Sergio Mendez, Sarah Vaughn and Dave Brubeck. Dad expanded his musical tastes as we grew older. We began to find James Taylor, Blood Sweat And Tears, Chicago and Steely Dan albums in his collection. My dad had become the “cool” dad. He knew all the big names and the band they were with. How many 80-year-olds do you know who know the names Steven Tyler, Keith Richards, Joe Perry, Pete Cetera, Roger Daultry and Pete Townsend. My father did.

Weekends and evenings were also a time for dad to retreat to the basement to his workshop. The old talk show Sports Talk with Eddie Andleman played on the radio. He created so many beautiful pieces of furniture in our home and I took pride in them. I remember as a kid showing off my dad’s talents to friends who came to our house. Cheryl, Scott and I would have our one on one time with dad as he taught us the rules of carpentry; safety first, measure twice, cut once and remember to allow for the cut of the blade. He encouraged us to be “hands on,” to start up the radial arm saw and actually make the cut. He taught us as if we were to be the next Bob Villa. Dad loved sharing his knowledge and time with each one of us.

My father was a lover of animals especially his German shepherds and his 22 year old kitty, Emmy Lou. He loved football, baseball, antique cars and auto shows, ice cream, coffee and cookies (ya, he had a real sugar Jones). He cherished his years in Wenham with the Sisters of Notre Dame, the trips to their home in North Conway and time away, alone with his best girl, Jackie.

As for me, I’m grateful for the time spent. The family gatherings, the trips up north, painting at the Montessori School, countless visits and Sunday dinners at home and patronizing our favorite restaurants for dad’s favorite… seafood. I am ever grateful for our trip we took together to San Francisco two years ago. We had a ball!

Today, my father is making new memories with his long missed friend, Bill Murphy. I’m sure Bill and dad are sharing their many long-winded stories that go on and on and on. Enjoy your old friend, Dad, until we’re together again… we love you.

Spring

2010-03-31T09:05:00.002-04:00

I paddled out on the water yesterday and surfed what was left of the last storm that passed through. The clouds broke over me, and I knew that thousands of thirsty New Englanders would finally be getting a drink of the blue sky after far too many days of rain. Later that day I'd notice the trees in Cambridge starting to bud as they slowly open their ingenious photosynthesizing umbrellas. And the squirrels in the park were digging up their treasures, getting fatter and fluffier by the day.

This morning the marshes were glowing green at dawn. A layer of cool fog was quickly burning away from the warmth of trillions upon trillions of photons radiating from the peeking eye of the sun. Beach houses lined up on the horizon to watch the spectacle. They stood in the haze like cool gray paper cut-outs. A handful of sentinels clad in black neoprene were floating on the water and watched as the sun rose over an all-too-finite ocean. Meanwhile a 70+ year old woman jogged the length of Ocean Boulevard as she must have many, many times before.

Happy World Water Day!

2010-03-22T10:52:00.004-04:00

Today is World Water Day and I thought I'd celebrate by sharing what I've been doing to try and join this movement to reclaim our planet. It may sound a bit dramatic, I know, but every day new statistics show us how unsustainable our society has become. For example, 200,000,000,000 (that's 200 BILLION) bottles of water are consumed globally every year. Still, all it takes is a little thoughtfulness on the part of consumers to change this picture. If we demand sustainable industry, we'll get it.

I started a twitter account (http://twitter.com/adam_n_fraser), some months ago and only recently noticed that 90% of my tweets were focused on conservation and sustainability. Thanks to groups like EWG, The Surfrider Foundation, Credo Mobile, Food Democracy Now!, and The Zeitgeist Movement, I've found many new ways to take action on causes that really need support at the grassroots level. So I made the decision to keep my tweets focused on these issues with hopes of spreading awareness so that other people who follow me will learn what I'm learning. Hopefully some of you will be persuaded to take action in some small way – whether it be by signing a petition, boycotting bottled water, or participating in a beach cleanup – every little bit helps.

Here are a few links I've shared recently...

The Story of Bottled Water
In celebration of World Water Day, Annie Leonard brings us another informative video about the misconceptions about bottled water versus the tap.

The Story of Cap and Trade
Anyone ever heard of this proposed "solution" to global warming? Think it's a good idea? Watch this short video.

The Zeitgeist Movement: Envisioning A Sustainable Future
An excellent article by The Huffington Post, highlighting the primary argument of The Zeitgeist Movement.

Metropolis
This short film by Rob Carter, resonated deeply with me. We're just passing through.

Bracket Of Evil

I had a good laugh... make your votes count!

A New Approach to China
Google stood up to increased censorship and cyber attacks from China. A bold move in the name of freedom of information.

Protect the Clean Air Act
A petition to prevent pro-coal politicians from blackening our lungs.

Better School Lunches
Michelle Obama campaigned for better school lunches! Say thanks.

Stoked

2010-03-18T13:10:00.000-04:00

Sunny with head high drops, the perfect morning.

Life is for the living

2010-02-02T15:41:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine is almost finished with college and planning a 6 month trek from Western Europe through the Middle East and across the breadth of Asia. Someone might say he's taking a big risk by not diving into the job market straight out of school. I say that we need to grab every opportunity that allows us to truly enjoy life, and if such an opportunity does not present itself, then fucking make it happen. The biggest risk is waiting a lifetime to truly live.

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
Then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could
go back to work. But then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying... And suddenly I realized I forgot to live."
- unknown

"We live as if we are never going to die.
We die as if we have never lived."
-unknown

... I wasn't able to dig up an author for either quote, but the message is what is important here.

A little country living, a little white trash, and a lot of love

2009-09-15T22:15:00.004-04:00

It just occurred to me that I never wrote a word about what came of the home-buying process, so I'm going to do my best to sum up the experience. The long and the short of it is that everything worked out. The original underwriters ended up coming back and saying that they'd take the loan after we decided to seek out another one.

We closed the deal and moved in on Thursday, August 20th with the immense help of my family and friends. Over the next weeks my parents made us VERY happy that we moved to a place so close to them by coming over frequently and doing inordinate amounts of work around the house including garden work, lawn mowing, gutter cleaning, weed whacking, pressure washing, trash disposal, and countless other tasks.

The empty space inside the house quickly filled with our things and became our own. It took time for most of our boxes to become unpacked, and we've still got some painting and decorating to do here and there, but by-and-large we're moved in. So far I've succeeded in replacing some windows, and I learned a bit about maintaining the pool. I cleaned and reorganized the work bench in the cellar so we know where to go when we need a nail, or screw, or circular saw or blowtorch head. Which reminds me, we've managed to inherit a bajillion things leftover from the previous owner and her ex husband. So... since lists are fun:

Somewhat expected: refrigerator, washer, dryer, dishwasher
1 snow blower
1 reversible leaf blower / mulcher
1 very nice patio set
2 auxilliary patio sets
1 big play structure with slide, climbing wall, and swingset
1 heavy duty 2-wheel barrow
1 treadmill
1 air-hockey table
1 trash barrel enclosure
2 trash barrels
1 extra long hose
assorted pool supplies
rakes, shovels and brooms
1 tree trimmer
2 ladders
1 circular saw
1 drill
1 electric sander
2 toolboxes chock full of tools
~8 box cutters
tons of latex gloves
1 frozen turkey
2 air conditioners
1 tape recorder
lots of cans of paint
extra floor tiles and a tile cutter
1 christmas tree stand

...the list goes on.

From the date we moved in, we still had a solid 8 days of vacation to get settled. I'd highly recommend this to anyone else who moves into a new house in August. I was worried it would feel like a wasted vacation since we didn't go anywhere, but the newness of our home, and the fact that we had a pool and a beach nearby just made it perfect. We felt like we were staying in a vacation home, and since it was August a lot of friends were able to find time to come by and join our little fantasy.

Now it's safe to say that we are cozy with the idea of this being our permanent abode. Our thoughts are now turning to closing the pool, and putting out autumnal decor. I am also taking full advantage of our proximity to the beach by making frequent trips to Hampton for a little surf and peace of mind. Besides the beach, so many of our favorite places are within 10 minutes drive of us, like Cinnamon Rainbows surf shop, food at The Secret Spot, KBs, Tripoli or Dairy Queen, bluegrass music and apple picking at Applecrest Farm, downtown Newburyport and Amesbury, Maudslay park, and my parents and grandparents houses. And who can deny the importance of the other contrasting locales such as Kittens, Joe's Playland, Tens Club, and the good ol' Seabrook Market Basket! We're creamy coastal, country living, with a bits of white trash sprinkled on top for flavor. Come visit sometime!

VOTE for Me!

2009-09-08T21:44:00.004-04:00

I've joined a photo competition on Brickfish to see if I can win $1000!

Please follow the link and click the VOTE button to show your support.
http://www.brickfish.com/GoToPage.aspx?qsi=19011649

Every vote is super appreciated and votes can be made once every 8 hours, so vote EVERY day!

It feels good to participate in competitions like this. I don't know why I don't do it more often. I used to spend so much time working on photos and sharing them online, hoping to get a good response out of people. While my days at deviantArt are far from over, my participation level has dropped off, and I've found myself overly critical of what I share. Maybe it's time to get back on the saddle, if only to create something beautiful again.

The Underwriters

2009-08-14T11:17:00.003-04:00

Well, I've spent the better part of the morning explaining what's going on with the home-buying process to people. If I keep this up, I won't get anything done the rest of the day, so here's my attempt to quell the masses.

Sparing a lot of detail on what all the paperwork means, and how many times we've signed each form, revised form et cetera, it is sufficient to say that we have bled ourselves dry scanning, faxing, notarizing, and signing documents. We have now provided sufficient proof of financial capability and signed bajillions of forms, extensions, contracts, agreements and so on to please the many parties involved (including the sellers, the realtors, the loan officers, the attorneys, the underwriters, and so on).

We're at the end of the line, and we're ready to close... we were SUPPOSED to be closing today. But after many back-and-forths we have extended the contract until next Tuesday because the underwriters are not satisfied with what they got back from the appraisers. Sadly this doesn't mean we'll definitely be closing by Tuesday. If there's anything I've learned from this process, it's that nothing is set in stone.

On another note, I recently realized that I never contemplated who the hell "the underwriters" actually were. Thinking about it a little, the name says it all: they sign the bottom line. So that would be our lender, Eastern Bank, right? Guess again. -- One thing I didn't know going into this was that Eastern Bank was going to sell our loan to Citi. They are the "underwriters." They're the ones who will foot the other 80% of the dough to buy this house, and in 30 years, we will have paid them nearly twice its value. It's pretty frustrating to realize that the most money that I've ever spent is going to go directly to a money-hungry mega-bank like Citi when I'd much rather be supporting a smaller local institution.

[ Note (from a soapbox): Some lenders will guarantee that they will not sell your loan to another institution. Keep that in mind when you decide to buy a home. You will be spending more money than you ever have in your life, but you have a choice on how to spend it. It's sad but true that, in this world, money is power, the power to show your values. Never forget that we have a choice. Every purchase made is a statement of our values as a society. Do we value quality products and services, or quantity and speed? Do we value sustainability and the environment or will we leave that to the next generation to worry about? I'm ashamed to be giving Citi bank hundreds of thousands of dollars when I know that their institution does not reflect my values in banking. Whatever your values are, don't let yourself make the same mistake. Don't forget you have a choice. ]

Off the soapbox.

So what's up with the underwriters. Well, they've gotten the appraisal of the house, which includes 6 "comps" or comparable homes. Three of the comps are a better deal than our house, two are a worse deal, and one is about the same. They've decided that they want to see one more comp before moving forward. Remember, the underwriters want to get a good deal (and so do we, admittedly) since they're investing in the house. If the 7th comp indicates that we're getting a good/fair deal on the house, then we move forward and close. However, if it indicates that we could get a better deal on the house, then they would expect us to pay less for it (revise the purchase amount). Alternately, we could try our luck with another underwriter.

We are at the mercy of the banks. "We", being Ashley, myself, and the sellers of the house, who are in an arguably even worse situation than we are since there's a chance that we could come around and say, "We love your house, but the banks think it's overvalued and they want us to pay $X less than the previously agreed price." If $X is $10,000, then they're either screwed out of $10K, or they have to go back to market with the house knowing full well that this could all happen again.

Ashley, myself, and the sellers have all spent MONTHS on this transaction. We've packed our lives up into boxes and prepared to move, and the sellers have probably moved already. So much emotional energy and money has been invested. It feels like we've been pulled back and forth by unyielding forces, and after so many compromises, commitments, phone calls and signatures, we've finally reached the end. And before us is a nameless, faceless automaton in a business suit sitting atop an impossibly tall podium with a stamp in his hand.

2009-08-05T09:41:00.001-04:00

It's in your head
in your head
zombie, zombie, zombie

The Virgin Homeowner

2009-06-28T15:53:00.006-04:00

So much for keeping up with my life on here. If I had been writing even once a month, I might have at least mentioned that Ashley and I put an offer on a house on True Road in Salisbury. I might have also talked about the insanely frustrating process of counteroffers. Then there was the ridiculously expensive and disappointing home inspection. But I haven't written a damn thing for months, so it looks like I've got a lot of catching up to do.

The house we found is a modest 1400 square foot ranch sitting on a not-so-modest 1.37 acre plot which is quite beautifully landscaped with gardens all around and a pond with ducks and frogs in the back. It has a large, sunny living room, a beautiful country kitchen with an island that opens into a dining room with a fireplace, 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. All the appliances in the kitchen are new, as are the washer and dryer in the big basement. To top it all off, a 2 level deck and patio are attached to the back of the house overlooking the amazingly peaceful backyard. We loved the place the first time we saw it, and couldn't help but fantasize about getting married in the back yard.

While the property appeared near-perfect, the location was even better: a 5 minute drive from my parents, and less than 10 minutes to the train station and the beach. So we got a pre-approval letter from the bank and made an offer. They countered, then we countered, and they countered again, and we agreed and rewrote contract... and then they decided they weren't going to sign it and were going to stick with their asking price. Apparently they weren't in a rush to sell and were confident they could get asking price in the fall if need be. Whatever, we caved and said yes.

Frustrated with the first steps of the process, we set out to looking for an inspector. After talking to several different people, we landed on a guy from Gloucester with over 30 years of experience. Not only was he the most experienced inspector I talked to, but also the most available... and unfortunately the most expensive. Nevertheless, we met at the house last Wednesday along with our agent and the sellers agent, and started picking the house apart. We learned everything about every system in the house, from the oil tank, to the boiler, to the electrical service, plumbing, insulation, chimney, roof, siding... everything. We started inside and by the time we got outside, there weren't any major issues to speak of, just an aging oil tank, an outdated electrical service, and a bit of "damp house syndrome" which would mean we'd need to run a dehumidifier in the basement 3 seasons out of the year to help prevent mold and mildew in the basement and attic.

Unfortunately, once outside, our inspector noticed a window with some pretty nasty termite damage. The sellers statement mentioned installing a termite extermination system 6 years ago, but somehow this didn't strike us as a big problem. "So what?" we must have thought, "They're gone now, right?" Well, maybe, but even if they are that doesn't mean that didn't turn the house into swiss-cheese before they were eliminated. This was the worst news ever. It wasn't something that we could even put a price tag to, because the damage can't be assessed without tearing open the walls.

I was home sick the following day, so I made some phone calls to other experts, not the least of which was my uncle. His sister had contracted him to replace some damaged siding on her house some years back. He brought his tools and started tearing off the damaged parts starting at the a small visible spot on the outside, but as he took the siding off, he found the structure behind them was completely destroyed. It wasn't until he removed the entire front of the house that he could comprehend the extent of the damage. "I hate to tell ya this, but it sounds like a 'walk away' deal to me, Adam." It was hard to hear, but it was what I needed to hear for reality to really sink in.

Still, the seller's agent wasn't buying that it was actually termite damage even though the inspector seemed sure of it, and even though it was directly above a termite bait station. We ended up having a pest inspector come in the following day to confirm, yes, it was caused by termites, and state multiple times to us in front of the seller's agent "I would not, NOT buy the house because of termites." Thanks JACKOFF, I'll look forward to doing business with someone else if I do buy the house.

No surprise, in the end things fell through. We weren't willing to risk buying the house as-is, and they weren't willing to meet our requests. It was a learning experience. Next time around, I think we'll be much better prepared to start out asking the hard questions straight off before going through inspection. We've learned who to trust for advice, and what to expect from the different parties involved. I just hope we're able to find something better in the months to come.

2009-05-19T19:58:00.002-04:00

I feel like I'm lacking focus lately. Or maybe I'm on the cusp. I try to do too many things at once.

webdesign

comp bio career

environmental interests

buying a house

making art

...busy enough that I shan't finish this entry.

Stem Cell Research

2009-04-06T10:08:00.002-04:00

Some weeks ago, President Obama reversed the Bush administration order that stopped federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. My friend Jon asked me to make a statement on this landmark for the science since he was writing an article for the examiner.com. Anyway, I thought I'd post my response here...

I believe this will help to accelerate some very specific research that people have been doing. When Bush cut off funding to these projects it put some major obstacles on the path for some kinds of cutting edge biological research. Universities and research institutes working in these fields had to either stop working with these cell lines altogether, or to find private funding to pay for the research as well as new facilities and instruments since nothing purchased with government funds, no matter how big or small, could be used when working with embryonic stem cells.

Still, I think people should understand that these cell lines are only of interest to people doing some very specific research. And while some people's lives are hanging on the products of that research, this change in policy isn't necessarily going to produce the cures that are demanded. Nevertheless, despite former president Bush's tourniquet we have accomplished a lot in the past 8 years, and have nothing but high hopes for the years to come.

In the end the majority of the scientific community sees this as a positive thing. However, there are still some among us who have a moral dilemma with the source of these stem cells, and I think we'd be reckless to keep pushing science without keeping these moral conversations on the table.

Career day

2009-03-19T16:14:00.004-04:00

Two or three weeks ago I found a voicemail from someone who worked at my old high school asking me if I would be interested in participating in career day. Evidently alumni were being invited back to participate in small panels of 2-4 people to represent a particular field such as nursing, law enforcement, and the arts. I was invited to join the science and technology panel with two other people. Excited at the chance to give back in this small way to my alma mater, I said yes.

I hadn't really worked out what I'd say until yesterday when the nerves started to kick in. My public speaking experience is limited at best, and as far as audiences go, I figured high school students could be rough. I tried to stay optimistic that I'd be able to present to them as I did to my peers in my oral communications class about 4 years ago.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I found I was about 40 minutes early: Plenty of time to build up my nerves before taking the floor. Still, as people trickled in and conversations sprouted, I started to relax. I caught up with old teachers and classmates, and then went on an expedition to find a video adapter for my laptop. Five minutes before A period, it was evident that I'd be skipping the audio-visual portion of my talk -- fortunately I only had 4 slides, 3 of which were stolen from colleagues.

That nostalgic *bong* sound came over the intercom signalling the sound of A period, and Chris, Steve and I found ourselves standing in front of a class of about 20 kids between the ages of 13 and 18. We had 20 minutes each. Chris, the mechanical engineer would go first; then me; then Steve, a genetic epidemiologist would go last. Chris' talk was short and sweet, but he did manage some interaction with the classroom which was promising. I did my best to stick to the outline I had made, and used the whiteboard when necessary. I taught them the basics of high throughput microscopy screens, and then went on to explain how my group helps scientists analyze the images from these experiments. I told them a bit about the work environment, ups and downs. Lastly I wrapped up with the best advice I could give anyone interested in entering this or any field of study:

Do what you feel passionate about. If you can't, find a way.
When someone asks "what do you do" talk about your interests and goals. The best career opportunities come out of networking. Having good character is just as important as talent.

The talk couldn't have gone smoother! I left Steve exactly 20 minutes without feeling rushed or like I was trying to fill time. I didn't even get snagged in a tangent as I tend to do when I'm excited about something. Best of all, I was getting some good eye contact, even nods, and questions during and after the presentation.

Part of the reason the A period class was so un-intimidating was because the majority of the students were on the younger end of the spectrum; B period, on the other hand, consisted of about 25 students, most of which were juniors and seniors. Nevertheless, the presentations went off without a hitch: More good eye contact, and honest questions. After the bell rang, a couple of the guys sitting towards the front right were still hanging around so I gave them a look and they came over. Both were interested in engineering, but seemed a little apprehensive about the math required. This was a common theme for both periods. I explained to them that when I was a senior, I had only taken elementary functions, an "advanced" class, but still way behind the honors curriculum. When I got into college, it just meant I had to start a semester behind for math and physics. NOT the end of the world. They seemed relieved and thanked me before shaking my hand and heading off to their next class. Those two students made my day.

Green links

2009-03-11T23:03:00.006-04:00

Driving While Taxed (Thomas Keown)
http://www.metro.us/us/article/2009/03/04/04/0446-82/index.xml

I finally watched An Inconvenient Truth.
http://www.climatecrisis.net

The Lazy Environmentalist
http://www.lazyenvironmentalist.com/pages/2005/06/the_book.php

Non-toxic household cleaners:
http://www.greenworkscleaners.com/

...aaand one more:
https://www.recyclebank.com/

The Green Post

2009-03-07T10:22:00.018-05:00

Over the past few months I've been steadily increasing my weekly intake of sustainable lifestyle and design knowledge. To those who are interested, here are some of the highlights...

Cradle to Cradle [link]
Of all of the books I've read this year, this may be the best. The authors argue that any system that requires regulation to do less harm, is a system in distress and in need of redesign. Simply put, they are pioneering the next industrial revolution, one where the very concept of waste is eliminated. Here's the copy & paste from mcdonough.com:

William McDonough's book, written with his colleague, the German chemist Michael Braungart, is a manifesto calling for the transformation of human industry through ecologically intelligent design. Through historical sketches on the roots of the industrial revolution; commentary on science, nature and society; descriptions of key design principles; and compelling examples of innovative products and business strategies already reshaping the marketplace, McDonough and Braungart make the case that an industrial system that "takes, makes and wastes" can become a creator of goods and services that generate ecological, social and economic value.

The Story of Stuff [www.storyofstuff.com]
When we throw something "away", where exactly is "away"? How is it possible to buy a cute little green radio for $4.99 at Radio Shack, when the materials and labor to create and sell that radio should cost way more than $5? This short video provides some perspective on the lifespan of products. Again, here's a blurb:

From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

Time: The Clean Energy Scam [link]
I read this article in Time magazine published a year ago, and hope that views on ethanol and biodeisel as "green" fuels have started to change since then. The big picture is much dirtier than the emissions would indicate.

"People don't want to believe renewable fuels could be bad," says the lead author, Tim Searchinger, a Princeton scholar and former Environmental Defense attorney. "But when you realize we're tearing down rain forests that store loads of carbon to grow crops that store much less carbon, it becomes obvious."

Promising news:
Here are a few links to things that will make you feel better about the future of sustainable industry.

Car-Free Suburb Planned for Melbourne, Australia
Greenest Eco Resort in the World Coming to California? ...this looks like it could be incredible! Check out the overview pdf.
TED Talk: Willie Smits: A 20-year tale of hope: How we re-grew a rainforest

Places to Start

Try this:

Create a bookmark folder in your web-browser called "Save the Planet"
Check out "21 links to save the planet" on PlanetGreen, and put all those links in your new bookmark folder.
Once a day, maybe when you get to work, right-click on the your "Save the Planet" bookmark folder, and select "open all bookmarks in tabs."

Bam! You just planted trees, funded education, protected oceans, saved baby seals, saved several square feet of rainforest, removed some CO2 from the air, gave children free books, gave free food to the hungry, helped to provide free child healthcare, and helped fight breast cancer... all by opening and closing a few tabs in your browser, and maybe clicking a few buttons! And if you're feeling especially kind, you might even take a look at some of the sponsors on those sites. I've been doing this for almost 2 months now, and even added some links of my own. Suppose each each site only planted a single tree for every visit I made, I still would have helped to plant about 1500 trees over the past 2 months!

Of course, clicking links only goes so far, so here are some other resources to broaden your view and give you ideas for how to me more resourceful and less wasteful:

http://www.treehugger.com/
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/
http://www.ecofabulous.com/
http://www.ecogeek.org/
http://www.inferknow.com/green (firefox extension that offsets CO2 output)

You might try using Google Reader to organize all these for you as well as other blogs that you like reading (like mine!) Check out the quick tour here.

Design is Fun!

2009-02-27T22:02:00.004-05:00

So I recently caught wind of a little design fun going around facebook. It goes like this

Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
Go to "Random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
Post it to FB with this text in the caption and tag the friends you want to join in.

I was tagged in one and it made me think about how long it's been since I've done ANY design for fun. So my clicks resulted in the following:

So today I was rummaging through some old art and found this little logo I designed for a site that has since disappeared. It makes me kind of want to use it for something. *shrug*

Creativity and Results

2009-02-13T10:21:00.006-05:00

For the creative people who, like me, are astounded by the work and genius of those successful in our respective fields. Who want to start creating something meaningful, even if they don't know exactly what.

I recently watched Merlin Mann's talk entitled "Towards Patterns in Creativity" [link]. I'm not going to explain who Merlin Mann is, because I don't really know. I found the talk through yet another blogger that goes by Greyscalegorilla who recently got caught up in idea of input and output as actions in our lives. Point being that we, the creative people, are constantly saturated with input. We're all reading, and watching and sometimes even taking notes, hoping to find that something that will inspire us into doing something really amazing. Greyscalegorilla's assignment to we-the-viewers, was to do some creative output today. Just assume that you already have all the tools you need to do what you want to, and go and do it.

In Merlin's talk he showed a slide with the following, "Creative work, summarized: In the time you set aside each day to work your ass off, ignore anything that makes you consider stopping."

Here are some of the things I've been thinking about.

Creative professionals have no shortage of inspiration, the hard part is turning it into something awesome.
Those of us stuck in between spend too much time reading books about how to do things. It's not about tips and tricks, it's about focus.
"Scratching" (per Twyla Tharp). Get a box. Set time aside to go and find stuff to put in it. Have a high tolerance for ambiguity, and trust that you will find a way to interpret what you've collected. The point here is that you have a place to collect your inspiration.
Be willing to make sacrifices along the way. Again, "...ignore anything that makes you consider stopping."

I'll end this here, knowing that anything else I write will likely be a vacuous effort to end with a profoundly inspiring and witty message. Forget the wit. Forget the how-to books. Make something.

How heavy is this glass of water?

2009-01-25T09:04:00.002-05:00

My uncle in Kansas (Hey Uncle Dave! if you're reading this) regularly forwards emails to me and the rest of the family. Some are funny, some are amazing, some aren't worth the time it takes to delete them, but still others are really inspiring. I thought I'd share one here, because the wisdom in these words can't be oversold.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water? "
Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

IDEAs

2009-01-07T21:26:00.005-05:00

I was exchanging emails today with a co-worker of mine from a latent design contracting job. Apparently they have been cutting back and many of my friends there have been getting laid off. It was great to catch up with her and offer her a resource to help her in her search to find new employment. In one of her reply emails she said:

"I was cleaning out my hard drive and files and keep finding your sketches and mock ups - you are a huge part of what make it such a great (and award-winning) UI! "

It was a nice ego booster to hear that people appreciated the work I did there, but then I stopped. "Award-winning?" Last I checked, I hadn't heard anything about winning any awards. When I checked back with her on it, she explained that our device won the bronze International Design Excellence Award (IDEA) which, according to 3M anyway, is one of the worlds most prestigious design competitions sponsored by Business Week magazine and the Industrial Designers Society of America.

Now, before my head gets too big I should mention that the award is for the entire product design of the device which took the work of many smart people. Still, how psyched am I to have taken part in designing the user interface to this cool dental device!? A part of that IDEA belongs to me, and you can rest assured, I will be bragging about it.

Crossword clown

2008-12-04T22:18:00.003-05:00

I am addicted to doing crossword puzzles during my morning commute. I'm also reading a new book called The Biology of Belief given to me for my birthday from my Aunt Julie. The title and cover had me extremely skeptical about the content at first, but I'm really getting into it. More later when I've actually gotten past the first chapter.

In yo' face, Martha Stewart! Cookie-bot strikes again!

2008-11-30T20:55:00.001-05:00

The non-disturbing parts of this drawing are a tribute to my childhood. As a kidlet I filled entire sketchbooks with drawings of sharks and bats as drawn above. Thresher sharks became my favorite. Drawing sunglasses on the sun went from being a clever pun when I was little, to a way of expressing how "cool" I wanted to be (and thought I was) despite my complete lack of touch with the current fashions in elementary school.

Feeling thankful

2008-11-30T12:10:00.004-05:00

I'm feeling pretty thankful this Thanksgiving. I know - I know, our ancestors slaughtered the natives and took their land. It's a wet sack of lamesauce that it's become a holiday but I'm choosing to be positive about it for now. Me, I'm thankful for being surrounded by great people on all sides. My family, friends, neighbors, and even co-workers are all such outstanding people who do nothing but enrich my life.

Ashley and I spent our last-thursday-of-November at my aunt and uncle's place in Beverly where 12 of us devoured a 25lb turkey AND a ham. There were carrots, squash, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and umpteen other sides including a green bean casserole that Ashley made which was a hit. Good job, fiend! After dinner, my cousin Jayme made an appearance thanks to Google's new video chat. She's been stationed with the airforce in Korea for a while now. It's crazy to think that my brother and I used to play "kitties and doggies" with her and her sister when we were little. Now she mans a machine gun that fires about 800 rounds/min.

Last night Ash and I had a sequel Thanksgiving dinner with our neighbors in Salem. The food was delicious, but nothing compares to the conversation had when we all get together. Everyone comes from such diverse backgrounds, it's like having a conversation with a walking, talking, 5-headed encyclopedia. We capped the evening with a game of Balderdash, and I learned that the only thing more intellectually stimulating than factual trivia is convincing bullshit.

The game goes like this: Players take turns being the "dasher", who picks a card and randomly selects a topic from : words, dates, movies, people, or acronyms. They then read the corresponding item from the card. Eg. "Nov. 10, 1958" for a date, "Agillo" for a word, "Bjorn Leirvik" for a name, "Fast Forward" for a movie, or "L.A.P.M.S." for an acronym. The remaining players then write down a bullshit description of the item (or the actual description if they think they know it). The dasher then reads all of the descriptions aloud along with the actual description. The players finally try to guess which is the real definition. Players move their pieces on a board for each person that thinks their description is the real one. If no one gets it right, the dasher moves his piece.

For the date "Nov. 10, 1958", the real answer might be "Birth of the Bossa nova in Rio de Janeiro", but someone might write "Birthdate of Chip Kass, funny car racer." When you get a bunch of clever people together, this game becomes incredibly difficult and hilarious. The real answers are always a challenge because they can be completely ridiculous, or utterly uncreative. They key is to play off the other players knowledge and listen carefully to the wording of the descriptions.

One last thing I'm thankful for is a new bedframe that Ashley and I bought yesterday. Our previous frame had wheels and a center-support that was too high, so when we got in bed, the whole bed wanted to rotate like Austin Powers'. Getting the new frame home from Ikea was a miracle. We had to take it out of it's box and cram it in between my front passenger side seat and the back seat behind the driver. I drove home with my steering wheel about 4 inches away from my stomach, and my knees bumping the underside of the dashboard. When we got home, we discovered that we trashed the manual along with the box back at the store. Thankfully, Ikea posts all of their manuals online, and the frame came together beautifully. No more skating across the floor in our sleep!

Heels

2008-11-30T10:51:00.001-05:00

Surfed Good Harbor on Thanksgiving morning.
Note to self: never surf in 46 degree water without something in your stomach.

Unlearn my hand

2008-11-28T20:27:00.001-05:00

Caricature in a bus window reflection

2008-11-25T23:34:00.001-05:00

Customer Service is Key

2008-10-03T13:34:00.002-04:00

I just walked out of Così with a wasabi, ginger roast beef sandwich and a gigantic "Arctic Mocha" for $6.92. The sandwich is delicious -- the coffee drink -- not amazing, but I got it for free on my Così card, thanks to Karen, a Così employee who sees to it that I never forget to swipe my card for points. What the hell is my point here?

My point is that I would not have been in Così today (for the second time - no less) were it not for Karen. She brings me the smile and friendly dose of conversation I need each morning that make my day that much better. There are about 20 other places a stone's throw away from where work where I could go for food, and yet I opt for Così most of the time because I need more than a cheap sandwich and fast service, I want a human experience.

These days businesses out there may claim to offer service with a smile, but truly friendly service is scarce in these times when fast service is king. Still, we can't place all the blame on the businesses, perhaps there's just a lack of personable people. Ugh! I'm depressing myself. I just can't see how so many lame people are getting jobs in customer service.

Let's take some positive examples, shall we...
(1) The Eggroll Cafe in Lowell. The customer service at this place is phenomenal. The owners are extremely personable and dedicated to a quality product. At first their service was very slow, but the people there made me feel so welcome that I would take the extra time out of my day for this positive experience.

(2) Whole Foods. I've recently dedicated myself to doing my grocery shopping here as opposed to the many cheaper alternatives. The employees in their Swampscott location are all so helpful and seem so genuinely happy. They mustn't know that they're working right? --but that's the point, work doesn't have to be a chore!

(3) The 99 in Seabrook. When my parents go out to eat, they choose this particular location because their favorite server there has become a good friend. In fact, it turns out a lot of people that go to this location ask to be seated in her section, which has caused tension with the manager. If this woman was paid on commission, she'd be making a killing. Instead she doesn't fit in because she's providing better-than-mundane service.

I worked at Dairy Queen for 4 years, and during that time I learned that every customer comes with the chance of lifting you up or bringing you down. Of course, this works in both directions, so the host and server effectively amplify each-other's moods during a transaction. Regardless of which side of the window you are on, being friendly and outgoing can only make your day better.

One small step for man...

2008-09-29T16:30:00.002-04:00

Moving in with Ash.

Eight Hours with Hannah

2008-09-08T21:58:00.004-04:00

I popped in The Secret Spot around quarter of 9 yesterday morning where I put away a breakfast burrito to fill up for what would likely be a full day of surfing. Hurricane Hannah brought waves that peaked around 7 and 1/2 feet, and were barreling sporadically throughout the day. I have never ridden faster, more terrifying waves.

It was not a good day for beginners, and yet they were out there too. I talked to a couple different people who were both out for their 3rd time ever. I now realize how crazy I must have been to be in their place 2 years ago when I started. When Ernesto and Florence brought head-high waves to Massachusetts, I remember waiting outside the breakers after an exhausting paddle out only to drop in on a handful of waves that would each instantly chew me up and spit me out.

I surfed for 8 and 1/2 hours with a break for lunch at The Secret Spot again. By 5pm my shoulders and back ached like I had been in boot camp all day, ordered to do 1000 push ups and spend 3 hours inside a salt filled washing machine. I managed only a handful of good rides throughout the day. I guess I've got a lot of learning to do on the big waves. Still, National Geographic is predicting a "well above average" hurricane season this year, so there's no doubt I'll be out there tearing it up on my new 6'6".

September

2008-08-30T10:18:00.005-04:00

We're on the cusp of autumn in New England, and I'm excited for it. Though I wish our summers could be longer, the fall has historically brought out creativity in me. For this and many other reasons it is a favorite season, and I think most New Englanders agree, even those who spend the winter months in Florida.

So I've decided to make a "New-Month's Resolution", it's a tradition of Ashley's that has rubbed off on me a little bit. The thing about September though, is that this month has ALWAYS felt like the beginning of the year for me. As an academic, yeah it's the start of the new school year. But it also clearly marks the beginning of a new season whereas January 1st happens in the dead of winter. September is a big deal for me, so I want my goals to be good ones that I can take with me into the months to follow.

My first goal is simple. I plan to do all my shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. In words, this goal sounds a little lame, but it's not. Whole Foods' business model is one that people should be proud to incorporate in their communities. For 8 consecutive years, Whole Foods has been on Fortune's "100 Best Companies to Work For" list. They promote sustainable farming, and pride themselves on selling natural foods free of toxics. If their food costs more, it's because it is worth me, and I'm willing to pay for something I believe in.

Goal number two: Staying in shape. Ashley and I have joined Bally Total Fitness, and I plan to make the most of my membership. It'll be good to get back to lifting, but I'll probably try out some different classes like yoga, plyometrics, hula-hooping... y'know, stuff like that.

And finally, I plan on surfing every hurricane and tropical storm that makes it's way up the east coast. I plan on putting a lot of miles in on my new 6'6" and hopefully I'll be picking up a new longboard for some quality noseriding at Nahant.

Laura Upstairs

2008-08-11T20:41:00.008-04:00

It's a stereotype of sorts, maybe a little slice of the American dream, to move into a new house and be warmly welcomed by the cookie cutter couple that lives next door. One day there's a knock on your door and there they are, partially obscured by some gargantuan gift basket filled with fruit, pasta, vegetables, margarita mix and the rest of the elements of the food pyramid. Six months later, you're borrowing cups of sugar from each other and playing drunken Pictionary together one weekend a month.

Laura intercepted me in the shared stairwell of our newly shared house as I was moving in about a month ago. She welcomed me to my new home with a shy smile the obligatory basket full of food. I was taken aback by her gesture, and accepted the basket excitedly. After I introduced her to my family who were in the midst of moving me in, she mentioned having a lot of extra stuff she was getting rid of that we could have if we wanted it. We talked briefly, and she explained that I should take a look sooner than later because she was going away tomorrow. Anxious not to leave all the moving to my family, I made a quick trip to the 3rd floor with her to see if she had anything that Tim and I might be able to use. I ended up taking a small rack that I could use to get the most out of my minuscule closet space.

I mentioned the experience to Tim, and how she was pretty determined to get rid of all of her stuff. As it was, I didn't really think we needed anything else, but maybe Tim could find something. We found her later, and I introduced them to each other. She showed us around her apartment as if we were at some sort of liquidation sale. Still, something was strange. She even seemed to want to get rid of things that she liked. There was no clear line between what she wanted to keep and what she would leave out on the sidewalk if we didn't take it. Even some of her clothes were up for grabs, as she said they were too big for her now.

I just met this woman. She was nice. I liked her. But I didn't know how to react to some things. When I asked her how long she was going away for, she said she didn't know. "Maybe a couple weeks... or a month, if my dad will take care of me." I think she said her father lived in Acton. Anyway she offered only the vague explanation that she had been sick, but I didn't want to pry. In retrospect, it seems like she somehow wanted to be asked.

Tim and I took a bunch of items off of her hands, but when Tim returned to the apartment, I stayed and talked with her for a while in her kitchen. How did this 35-40 year old woman come to live alone in this place in Lynn? What did she do for work? Who was her family? We talked about anything but the answers to those questions, and her apartment offered only the faintest hints. An old "guy couch" as she put it. A photo of her and what might have been her niece. A few plants that Tim and I took. An ashtray filled with cigarettes on the porch. When I finally left, I was convinced that she had some sort of terminal illness. Still, I wanted to see her again and get to know her, maybe bring some zany color into her apparently quiet life.

Days later, I came home from work to find a note from her that Tim put on my desk. It said she'd be staying in Somerville for a while with someone, and that we should get lunch sometime if I was free. She left a number, which wasn't the same as the number I had already programmed in my phone as "Laura Upstairs." I wanted to call her. I was going to call her. I wish that I had called her.

Laura killed herself a week or so after she was gone. Days later, a moving truck was there and a couple people were upstairs taking away the rest of her things. I paused in the driveway that night and stared up at her porch where I locked eyes with someone who evidently knew her... or not at all.

Tales from the MUP Hut

2008-08-06T20:26:00.011-04:00

So much is happening I don't know whether to shit or go blind. I'll be brief.

My parents are redoing the house I grew up in. Siding, roofing, doors, windows, front steps, shrubs, and even the entire kitchen. It's pretty cool to go home each week and see what's changed.

My cousin Jamie headed back to Korea with the Air Force a couple weeks ago. We had a little cookout in Salisbury with my aunts, uncles, and grandparents to see her off. That morning I hilariously bumped into Jon, Kevin, and Alyssa at Stop & Shop in Amesbury whilst holding 4 pounds of hamburger meat.

After work the next day, I bolted to Beverly to see Ashley's kids at Camp Mitchman put on a stellar production of The Aristocats. It was adorable and hilarious. I was amazed to see what Ashley and Emma were able to do with a rag tag group of hooligans. Well done, fiend!

Marmaduke's birthday was on the 29th. I drove home and joined the rest of the family getting dinner at Not Your Average Joe's in Newburyport. We ate out on the patio, then surprised Gram and Daba at the concert out on the waterfront. It was a fun night!

Last weekend, Ashley and I snuck away to Maine. On Friday night we headed up to North Conway and where we grabbed dinner at Friendly's. As we walk in we notice the night manager... Don freakin' Bryant! Hah! Last time we were up there hiking Mount Chocorua with Jamie and Julia, we stopped at the same place and cracked up over this guy's name tag. "Friendly. You bet we are Don Bryant!" Still funny. Don't ask. Theron, our crack-up of a server, even got ol' Don to make a cameo appearance at our table. The awkward factor was minor, but we ramped it up a notch by getting a stellar photo of Ashley and DB.

The weekend was amazing, although it seemed like it might rain the whole time. Saturday night we crashed in the MUP Hut, Mean Uncle Paul's cabin that he built in the woods. Unfortunately, this meant we had to trek two mattresses down a muddy, sluggy path. Of course this was accomplished barefoot on my part, while Ashley found yet another use for those orange Crocs she bought for color wars at Camp Mitchman. Sunday turned out to be gorgeous. We went swimming tubing, rope-swinging, and soaked up every possible drop of sun.

Monday was our monthiversary. We celebrated with sushi at Bangkok Paradise where I finally asked our friend what his name was. Ben! Funny guy that Ben fella. We capped the night off with some painting and photos.

Wine and Design

2008-07-24T21:08:00.003-04:00

It's been a good long while since I've gotten propperly tipped off of a bottle of wine, so here I am... PROPERLY tipped. As of word #10 of this entry, I've decided not to correct my spelling mistakes unless they are due to "fat-fingering." So what's new boys and girls?! What has been ricocheting off of the interiors of my skull like a well aimed bullet? No clue. But I'll take a stab at rememberizing things nonethelessly.

Primero:: the surfing rampage is over, so don't ask. Poseidon has seen fit to banish me to a a topology of infinite dissatisfaction. --If I were only closer to Haptron.

Segundo:: I caught The Dark Knight Tuesday night with Conor, Ashley and 5 other people. The movie was insane. Go see it. Wear two pairs of underwear.

Tercero: On the topic of psychological mind-f***ing. I finally finished House of Leaves... the book was good, but very intense and dense for my slow mind. Imagine reading three books at once and being expected to link subtleties between them all in some sort of big conspiracy, except there really is no conspiracy, it's all just a big, beautiful, self-recursive metaphor. I would love to start describing the premise of the book, but even that would take about 2038974 pages, so I'll just quit while I'm ahead.

Que mas?

Ashley has been enjoying working at the summer day-camp. She gets to be creative and teach kids dance routines. They put on shows, and in the time between it all, she swims like crazy. I actually just wrote about this in an email to a friend:

"...Work is kicking along well. I've started rewriting our HCS analysis software (CellProfiler Analyst) in Python. This language is AMAZING. It's everything I've ever wanted in a programming language. Never again will I code in Java -- BLEH! Of course, maintenance of our old code is already making a liar out of me. Whatever, work is going really well... and yet not perfectly. It's funny, because this job is almost the perfect fit for me. I get pounds of coding experience; am surrounded by brilliant people; have many opportunities to learn about the state of the art in biotech; get flexible hours and vacation time. Still, there's a very elemental part of me that resents being cooped up in an office 8 hours a day, 5 days a week while Ashley is swimming every day in the sun while teaching kids to dance at a summer camp. Maybe it's the artist in me that feels like he is being neglected. I'm almost certain of it. I told Ashley about this and she says she's sure she'll see me go back into graphic design in the long run, but I don't know if that's what I want either... For some reason, I feel like you probably get the same essential feeling -- that you always have to be moving and changing, because as soon as you sit still, then the grass is suddenly greener on the other side."

Writing about this stuff at least seems to help me get a perspective on it all. Now that I've finished House of Leaves, maybe I should get back into drawing on the train. For some reason or another that made me feel ridiculously happy. Whatever it is, I've got to find the holes and fill them, because there's seriously no excuse for even slight discontent with my current situation.

Al Final: I took some photos recently and felt completely inept. I keep up with photography, even if my camera does need a serious overhaul. I miss art.

Uprooting and Replanting

2008-07-13T09:03:00.002-04:00

My arms and back have a good ache going on after surfing four times in the past two days. The sets today should be rolling in around chest high, but you won't find me out there. Nope -- I'll be spending the day uprooting myself from North Chelmsford and replanting in Lynn.

To be honest, I feel kind-of anxious about the move. Money could be a huge factor, but there are other subtleties that give rise to my anxiety. Whatever happens, I need to make this location work out for me. This move will plant me much closer to Ashley, work, and the ocean, not to mention the fact that I'll living with my best friend since forever. If there are so many blatantly positive aspects, why then is it that I still feel a bit uneasy?

"Don't worry. Be happy." Bobby McFerrin, you always know just what to say to make me feel good.

So the entourage (my family) should be arriving hopefully within the next 30 minutes. For now, I'm sitting the the rubble that is left of my room. It's a sad sight, for a site that I put so much time into making my own. I remember telling Gary once that I wished I could paint a mural on one of my slanted ceiling-walls, to which he laughed and replied, "Don't worry, I don't think you're room could possibly have more character than it already does." For whatever reason, I took this as a massive compliment.

Fisheye

2008-07-03T23:43:00.007-04:00

Bizarre, though it may have been, the past week was truly excellent. After helping Ashley move into her new abode this passed weekend, I noticed a clunking sound in my front right wheel well. To make a week-long story short, the clunking turned out to be corroded and broken spring(s) somewhere in the suspension. Luckily, the part was under warranty, but it took about 5 days to get everything looked at, figured out, dropped off at the dealer, and finally fixed (today). What this has meant for me, is that I've been staying at my parents' house every night this week. How weird and yet fun!

Each day has gone basically as follows:

1) Wake up at 6:20, maybe shower, put on old clothes.

2) Get a ride from my mom at 6:40 to Newburyport station for 6:55.

3) Arrive at work around 8:45. Work for 8 hours.

4) Return home by 6:30/7:00, surf at The Wall or Jenness until 9:30.

5) Shower, do a crossword puzzle with my mom, go to sleep.

While the crossword puzzles have been a totally rad, albeit strange tradition, I must say that I am far more stoked to have surfed 5 out of the passed 6 days. Moreover, I was further pleased to be accompanied on most occasions by Brother Chris or Bill Mosher. Tonight all three of us were out there just eating up the low-to-high tide push after a massive thunderstorm passed us over at The Wall. Last night, however, it was just me and the perfect sunset. Nothing calms the soul like glassy, waist-high surf in the beautiful everglow of sunset at Hampton.

On the topic of surf, I'm also in the market for a short board. I had arranged to meet with someone in Cambridge to look at their 6'6" Local Motion board, but he ended up selling it before I even got a chance to look at it in person. Nevertheless, that's what I'm looking for: About 6'6" by ~20" wide with a "fat ass" squashtail as Ed tastefully put it... what can I say, I like me some ghetto booty. Basically, a shorty designed for the small-mid sized surf in the North East.

Lastly, I'm feeling really good about the fact that I'm still drawing on the train pretty much every day. Yes, almost all of the drawings have been surf inspired, but what I'm really into right now is just capturing the body in motion: Where the weight is distributed, what a particular pose looks like from different perspectives, especially distorted ones like a fisheye lens would produce. What I've always liked about drawing is that it has always helped me to understand the world around me a little better.

Zen mind

2008-06-27T00:34:00.005-04:00

Clarity of mind comes in waves for me. I have always been this way. Left and right brain must take turns like alternating pistons in a car engine. When the balance isn't just right, it's as though a veil is pulled over my eyes. Things aren't clear as they once were. I feel uninspired, numb to the beautiful infinity unfolding all around.

This week that veil is sliding off and I'm starting to feel a rhythm to life again. Everything, it seems, is just a little bit easier: waking up in the morning, dealing with daily stressors, even simply thinking two steps ahead of any moment. It's so strange to look back and think, "when exactly was it that I was so stuck in the mud? It must have been so hard for me." But I think back and recall a week in Mexico, two in Peru, and countless triumphant weekends with my family, friends, and girl'fiend.

I expressed in my last entry that I felt drained by work days. I think that this is where I'm reconciling my groove. Today I got to work half an hour early, and left an hour and a half late. When I arrived at North Station, 30 minutes sat between me and the next ride home, and yet I felt no frustration. I spent the time drawing the people around me. On the train, I put pencil to paper again and next thing I new I was fantasizing about surfing sunset at OB.

Last night I meditated for 30 or 40 minutes, there must be irony in this considering the previous paragraph contains about 13 instances of the pronoun "I" by my count. Self absorbed as I am at this moment, last night was a welcome deviation into emptiness. The night before I spent about 2 hours working on a drawing and more time messing around with oil pastels. This is definitely a favorite form of meditation for me. The mind becomes so fixed on shape and shadow that nothing else can distract. A hand may travel to scratch an itch, or the body may reposition itself more comfortably, but the mind defers all these things to the reflexes.

It is claimed that meditation is like an exercise for the mind -- that repeated practice yields improved focus and clarity. I subscribe to this belief, though my experience with rigorous meditation is lacking. The world around can be so over-stimulating that it pollutes and numbs the senses. Sometimes I wonder if a day will come when I will be unaffected by the sound of a car accident. Whatever the case, I aim to chase down the luminescent clarity and focus that has time-and-again washed over me, maybe this time I can ride it out.

In need of a surf session

2008-06-18T18:00:00.009-04:00

I'm restless. It doesn't feel like summer. This time of year is supposed to see me spending 50% of my time outside. I miss the beach, and most of all surfing. I need the release of sport, and my sport has been devoid of a playing field for weeks. Not one promising swell, and the forecast looks like flat seas for days to come.

Unfortunately, I think my craving isn't self justifying, but rather stems from boredom with other aspects of my situation. I'm tired of commuting between North Chelmsford, Cambridge, Salem, and Salisbury; four places that couldn't possibly be less conveniently spaced. I'm frustrated by the miserable people that live beneath Ashley and Jackie, who choose to bitch and nitpick about nothing. And I'm put off by the fact that our UROPs at the Broad are doing more interesting work than I am. All of this has manifested itself in the form of a monotonous weekday life that leaves me aching for a nap at 2pm instead of craving to get back to what should be exciting work.

Maybe I just need something to energize me between now and the big move. In less than a month, Tim and I will be moving into a new apartment on the Lynn-Swampscott border. With this move, I'll finally be back on the north shore -- near the beaches, a stone's throw from perfect, nor'easter surf at Nahant, and 10 minutes away from my girl. The icing on the cake: my daily commute will be shortened by at least an hour... and hour I can spend at the gym, painting, surfing, going on walks with Ashley -- anything but driving from A to B.

Besides all advantages of moving, I love moving itself. What could be more refreshing than taking apart your living space and reassembling it somewhere new and groovy. Ashley and I have been priming and painting her future bedroom on Federal St., and yesterday we disassembled, moved, and reassembled Jon's old wardrobe. One piece at a time, this new place will become a reflection of its new inhabitants. How cool!

Continuing on the positive note, fun things have been happening. In the work category, I was treated to a 2 day training seminar for Acuity Xpress, a very cool analysis and exploration application for high content, image-based, biological screens.

Last weekend, Chris, Nick and I camped up in Crawford Notch to celebrate my cousin Savannah's birthday. Along with her and her boyfriend Patrick, we met other members of her posse who proved to be a lot of fun. We one-upped the typical camping thing of marshmallows, burgers, and beer, but adding Beirut, flip-cup, and a trip to North Conway to the equation. Our site was right on the river, which we all made a point to swim in at one point. Chris, Josh, and I had a good time throwing rocks from a distance at a dead tree hanging over the river. What a great way to spend an hour of the day! I felt like a little kid again! Someone even bought a slingshot that we used to shatter beer bottles as they were thrown into the air. I was astounded by the fact that 3 people were actually able to pull this off. We cleaned up responsibly afterwards. As night fell, we made sparkler-photo art by tracing our bodies in sparks over long exposure times.

The preceding weekend, I laughed myself stupid watching Kung Fu Panda at the theater with Tim, Rae, Laura, and Andrew. Saturday, Ashley and I got shivers listening to Ellis Paul perform at the New Moon Coffeehouse in Haverhill. What an amazing songwriter! The next morning, we hit the beach after looking at an apartment with Tim, then sped into Boston to catch the Red Sox - Mariners game at Fenway. J.D. Drew made an excellent catch right in front of us, then pulled a solo homer that won us the game 2-1. We capped the day off by swinging by my cousin Shannon's high school graduation party in Woburn. Phew, what a day!

This coming weekend, Chris and I are celebrating our respective licensure and masters degree by means of a barbeque in Salisbury. Beer, burgers, and volleyball will pervade the event. And Nick and I will soon be painting a custom Red Sox bar in the form of the green monster for his new apartment. I really can't complain much considering all the fun I'm having on the weekends.

...Still, nothing satisfies the soul like a good surf session.

Boston to Cuzco in 30 hours

2008-05-08T20:21:00.015-04:00

12:00am, Tim and I are slouched on the floor of Lima International Airport. The very concept of time has escaped us, and we are dizzy and wearied. So far we have traveled from Boston to New York City via bus. We spent about 342 hours waiting in Boston for our bus, 783 hours waiting at JFK, and now we're here waiting some more. In comparison, the flight from New York to San Salvador was actually a piece of cake.

The dank but cool, morning air in New York was replaced by 90ºF at 150% humidity in San Salvador. With time to kill, we sauntered aimlessly up and down the terminal. I entertained myself on the moving sidewalks, while Tim looked the other way. Eventually we settled down in a couple barstools at a place creatively named "The Bar". The atmosphere was just right though. We each ordered a couple beers of different kinds, and I enjoyed a little Spanish banter with the bartender. We then gaped at the ridiculous Spanish music videos playing on the small TVs flanking the bar. From the corner of my eye, I observed another pale-skinned traveller as he dissected his sandwich which, once properly dismantled, he abandoned disgruntled. Let's call him Hansel. We were at last in Latin America. Beers: $3US each.

[05/09/08]

During the second leg of our flight, we found ourselves seated next to someone positively more outgoing than Hansel. Marisol was originally from Peru, returning from her new life in Ontario for a baby shower. She was in-the-know, and dying to share her experience. Tim and I took notes on every word she said like we were at a review session for a test. Advice was dispensed on hiking to Machu Picchu, how to deal with "culebras" (snakes), and what it is meant by "las cejas de la selva" (the eyebrows of the jungle) - this refers to the climate where Machu Picchu is located. We learned that if we ask the locals how far a place is by foot, we're likely to receive the response "aqui, no mas" (not much further from here) even if the destination in question is 2 hours hike uphill. Andeans simply have a different concept of walking time. She taught is that the Sacred Valley is carved out by the Urubamba River, and suggested that we continue from Machu Picchu on to visit Ollantaytambo and Pisac by way of train from Aguas Calientes then bus from "Ollanta."

When she found out that Tim and I would be trapped at Lima International for the duration of the night, Marisol offered to set us up with a ride in and out of Lima for dinner. We met her grandmother's chauffeur at the airport, and were whisked away in a beat up station wagon to Miraflores. Once on the road, Marisol seemed like she might have spontaneously combusted at any moment. Somehow she was capable of catching up with the chauffer, talking about the baby shower to family and friends on her cell phone, and giving Tim and I the history of every district we passed through. She shifted in her chair every 3 seconds pointing out incredibly overcrowded busses, poorly constructed buildings, and practically lawless traffic patterns. We passed through the ghetto and a lower-middle class area to find ourselves following a road along the beach. Windows down, she put her head and shoulders out the window, cherishing each breath of the rank, smog-saturated air like it was pure oxygen. Tim and I lay slouched in the back seat alternating between breathing through our clothes and holding our breath. "Wow. So this is what home smells like... Super." Next time I find myself nostalgic for Lima, I'll start a bonfire on the beach, making sure to use leaded gasoline and tires as fuel. "Mmmmm, smell that fellas, that right there is the urban Pacific coast of Peru."

Eventually the stench of smog did begin to decrease and the infrastructure became increasingly modern. Miraflores was quite beautiful, probably moreso during the daytime, but at least we were cool at night. Marisol took us to a park at the top of some massive cliffs overlooking the ocean where Tim and I looked down to find that they had built a mall right into the ledge. The place, called Larcomar, was quite beauitful and filled with everything from restaurants, to night clubs, to stores, and even a bowling alley. Inside (though it was all open to the air) Marisol showed is a really nice seafood restaurant called Mango's. She spoke with the hostess about arranging us a ride back to the airport and a place to keep our bags in case we wanted to explore the area a bit. Amazing! They set us up with a nice table outside overlooking the Pacific and we said ourgoodbyes to Marisol after getting her contact info. "In case you need anything," she said. What more could we expect?

We sat down and ordered what she had suggested: Piqueo Marino (un caliente, un frio), and to drink Pisco Sour y Maracuya Sour. This turned out to be a massive amount of food, but it worked out to be only S/.103 or $47US. Our waiter Juan showed us where we could keep our bags safe after he indulged my craving for more Spanish conversation. I told him about our hiking plans and his eyes lit up when I mentioned Machu Picchu. How many people here, I wondered, would get to see Machu Picchu in their lifetime? One thing was for sure, the Peruvians took pride in their Machu Picchu the way other countries cheriesh their wonders.

Tim and I walked around outside the mall a bit, but returned to Mango's before long to have them call us a safe taxi. I tipped Juan and tanked them all profusely for their outstanding service before leaving. A sharp looking guy dressed in a suit came in before long and introduced himself as Jorge. Our taxi was waiting outside. Compared to the the last vehicle we had ridden in Jorge's ride was more like a limousine, some sort of shiny, black, luxury SUV. Jorge was great too, he entertained us with interesting half-English, half-Spanish conversation the whole 25 minute ride back to the airport. We parted ways with Jorge happily... $25 for the ride, $5 for tip.

As an interesting aside, we've learned that the U.S. presidential elections are not just fair grounds for conversation in the U.S. Both Jorge and Marisol brought it up in fact. Marisol saying that her grandmother thinks other countries should get to vote for our president. I might agree considering our track record with foreign relations.

Ahora, estamos en el aeropuerto. Es manana hoy... y estamos cansados y confundado a la hora. Están otras personas como nosotros, durmiendo cerca de sus mochilas en el piso del aeropuerto. Me duele la cabeza, pero manana (hoy) vamos a Cuzco, y no tenemos razon de dolor.

Discovering the Incan Empire

2008-05-07T21:24:00.003-04:00

It's 9:30, I just finished work at the Broad. Soon I'll be meeting Tim, and we'll begin our 32 hour journey to Cuzco, Peru. We'll take a bus to New York City, and leave the country on a plane passing through through El Salvador to land in Lima for an 11 hour layover. In the morning we take off again, and land in Cuzco at 7:05am dazed, disoriented, neurotic, and ready to explore this country of extremes on foot. It's hard to believe what we will see and do in the next two weeks.

Recuerdo de México

2008-05-01T20:33:00.009-04:00

I keep flipping through my photos from Mexico, expecting that one of them will inspire in me the slightest clue where to start writing. I feel like there's so much and so little I can say about it. I could talk for hours on end, fill this blog to it's character-limit, talking about what my first all-inclusive resort experience was like.

Palacio de la Luna was amazing in every aspect. Ashley and I were like little children seeing snow for the first time. Free drinks, meals, all-day tours... a jacuzzi and a two-headed shower in our very own massive suite complete with king sized bed, breakfast nook, veranda, Chez lounge, and room service. I digress too often. Like I said, I can barely shut myself up.

Lavish as the resort was, it was the learning experience that I really don't want to forget. The real Mexico was revealed in many layers, though it seemed to whiz past our eyes through the windows of a tour bus.

We witnessed the breathtaking ruins of ancient Mayan civilization established nearly 4000 years ago. These people had a a brilliant understanding of and appreciation for the cosmos. They understood the world they lived in to be alive as they are, something people today seem to forget or even ignore. The Mayan pyramid of Kukulcan in Chitzen Itza reflects this appreciation by functioning as both an astrological and fertility calendar. Not only did it track the position of our sun and the moon, their calendar also recognized the 260 day period of gestation.

At present, 3 million Mayans still live in the Yucatan Peninsula, and 4 million more throughout the rest of Mexico. So many people believe that the Mayans disappeared when the Spanish conquistadors came and destroyed their greatest cities, building churches out of the very ruins. I'll admit, I thought they were long gone, and yet there they were. Some live in huts in the jungle, weaving hammocks and working the land, others sell cheap souvenirs at tourist sites, and many were employed at the Moon Palace resort. Their native tongue is Mayan, a language that sounds nothing like Spanish, and has survived thousands of years. They will then learn Spanish in primary school and English in secondary. How many languages does the average American speak?

One of the towns we visited was called Valladolid. We were able to explore the central park and the shops etc. surrounding it. The park itself was beautiful, as was most of the center of town. Walk a block outside however, and the infrastructure becomes far less impressive. In this setting, I was truly able to feel the color of my skin, which is a rare occurrence for me because I live and work in such a culturally diverse place and I am anything but a minority. Caucasians in Valladolid are more likely to be tourists than a member of the local minority. This means that you cannot stroll down the street in white skin without street vendors and shop owners doing everything in their power to get your attention. "¡Mira, mira, mira!" "One dollar!" "More of these inside."

I spent $2 in Valladolid on two hand-sewn handkerchiefs sold by a little girl in the park. I sat down on a wall to take a look at what designs she had made and was instantly surrounded by a bunch of girls. 5-10 years old, they were wide-eyed and silent, holding handkerchiefs, bracelets and other trinkets. An old woman slowly made her way closer holding some sort of large woven craft. I flipped through the handkerchiefs, and looked up at the girl in front of me, "¿Qué es esto?" I asked. "Es un elefante." "¡Elefante! ...hay muchos elefantes aqui?" I joked. She shook her head, with the slightest smile. Each of them had the words "RECUERDO DE VALLADOLID"... I pointed at the last word, and asked her how to pronounce it. "¿Cómo se dice?" "Bai-ah-do-leed" she said.

Actions speak louder than sitting there and thinking about them (part 2)

2008-04-09T22:44:00.006-04:00

A few days ago, Ashley and I were driving to the bookstore, when I witnessed someone 2 cars ahead of me throw a large Taco Bell cup out their window onto the street. Infuriated, I honked my horn uselessly at the car in front of me. The silhouette of the person gestured as if to say, "what are you beeping at me for."

This certainly wasn't the first time I've witnessed someone brazenly litter in public. In fact, the last time this happened at a stop light, I recall writing in regret for not having given the person a piece of my mind (link). Well this time I got my chance, and I'll say it now, I'm not proud of how I handled myself.

The traffic ahead of me approached a set of lights, and sure enough, I found myself right behind the individual in question. He was probably about twenty years old, driving a silver PT Cruiser and wearing a flat-brimmed baseball hat sideways. The light was red, and my blood boiled as he dropped another wrapper out his window. Less than a second had passed, and I was already out the door, with an empty cup in my hands for demonstration purposes. I approached his window and unloaded on him.

"What the f--- dude?! You're not capable of throwing your trash away like everyone else?!"
"Dude, what?" He looked kind of scared.
"I said, why the f--- can't you throw your garbage in a trash barrel?! I live here, and here you are throwing your shit on my ground. How would you like it if I came over your place and used it as a dumpster? You can't f---ing wait until you stop your car to throw your shit in a trash barrel?!" I was gesturing angrily, and I could not stop swearing.
"Are you serious man." It felt like I was yelling at my kid.
"YES, I'm f---ing serious! Don't litter all over the place!"
There was a slight pause. I looked at his dumbfounded expression, as if to expect some enlightening response.
"Are you serious?"
"That's it?! Tell you what--", I held up my empty cup, "Why don't you try this. Get some practice."
I tossed it in his car. Now, I did it.
His eyes frowned, "Dude, seriously? You throw shit in my car? Are you serious? You throw--"
"Practice! F---ing PRAC-TICE!"

The traffic light was still miraculously red. This must have been the longest red light in New England. I headed back to my car, and realized as I sat down that I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. Clearly, not a single thought had passed through my "better-judgment" filter in the passed moments.

On the way out of Salem, I had the privilege of driving behind this piece of work, who proceeded to throw my cup, and yet another massive Taco Bell cup out his windows. I gained only a little satisfaction from noting that he got coke all over the side of his car, but mostly I felt disappointed in myself.

What kills me is I feel like there is absolutely no take home message from any of this. Doing what I did is probably the most counter-productive thing to do, and yet it felt better than just sitting there and letting it happen. But even still, I can't suggest any words or course of action that would inspire such a person to change their ways and, for once, put the environment first.

Published?! Boston vs. Yankees?!

2008-04-03T21:13:00.004-04:00

After writing my last entry, I decided it would be a good idea to distill my thoughts on the current political situation and submit them to BostonNOW. Well, go figure, they published it in the paper today!

On the topic of good news, Tim called me at work yesterday and informed me that he managed to acquire Red Sox vs. Yankees tickets for April 13th. What's more, they were 30 bucks! Phone-ninja that he is, he called Red Sox Nation NINETY-NINE times before getting through and snagging 4 boletos for me, Ashley, Rae Beth, and himself. This makes 3 games that I've committed myself to this season, which is 3 more than I've ever seen in person. This is certainly a victory worthy of publication!

Taking a page out of John Lennon's book with respect to current politics

2008-03-27T10:00:00.007-04:00

The passed couple weeks have been noteworthy. I finally got a haircut after a good year or so of following John Lennon's advice, "Stay in bed, and grow your hair." Though I haven't been staying in bed so much as I've been growing my hair. Anyway, the weather is getting a little nicer, and surf is calling my name. The water is still about 38F, but I'm counting on global warming to help out a bit.

The daily grind has been going well. Of course, I'm learning a lot at work every day. I finally got my first paycheck last week, so that was exciting as well. Every day I read the paper on the way into Cambridge. Of all the changes going on in my life, I feel like this has had the greatest affect on me. Never in my life have I taken any interest in politics. Now I'm on the edge of my seat every morning, dying to find out about what bullshit legislation our president is trying to get passed, or whether any more British soldiers have been caught dressed up as Iraqis trying to provoke conflict in Basra.

To be sure, the "war" in Iraq is a horrible circus. Every dollar we spend there is a dollar wasted by this country. In the past two days I've read over 10 articles regarding current state of our economy. I read these things and I feel like they're more than just a foreshadowing of events to come. Like the war in Iraq, I've been feeling like the credit crisis we're facing is deliberate, and falsely motivated. And what do I read in the paper this morning?! Bush (via Henry Paulson) is proposing the biggest regulatory overhaul to country’s financial system since the great depression. This will take even more power from the state and financial institutions and put it in the hands of the government. My take on this is that the administration is antsy to squeeze this bill through before Bush is punted from office, otherwise they would have waited until the economy hit rock bottom to put further pressure on the opposition. While it looks very unlikely that anything will come of this bill (at least before Bush is out of office), it's just another unnerving attempt to strip the rights away from the American people.

What is patriotism without the foundation this country was founded on?

Oh, by the way, apparently Bush bribed JP Morgan/Chase with $30 Billion from The Federal Reserve... read more and sign the PETITION TO IMPEACH here: http://financialpetition.org/

Today I contacted 10 "impeach bush" groups on Facebook with the hopes of getting this information out to their base of over 18,000 members.

Hey! You've got to hide your love away.

2008-03-20T20:45:00.005-04:00

They say it gets old, but I'm still enjoying the working life in the city. I feel completely immersed in this new culture. There are moments , especially in the quiet of the morning, when I suddenly feel like I'm in a foreign country. The train pulls in, and suddenly hundreds of people swarm out of the doors like a river of black coats and iPod headphones. I am a drop in that river, and yet, for an instant, I am a floating body.

This morning at Park Street there was a man playing Beatles songs on the acoustic guitar. Thousands of people, and nothing but the muted sound of conversations, footsteps and trains coming and going, and then this...

"Here I stand head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on
Feelin' two-foot small

Everywhere people stare
Each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
And I hear them say

Hey! You've got to hide your love away.
Hey! You've got to hide your love away."

It gave me chills. It was so emotional in contrast with the cold apathy of everything else I felt like I could cry. I love knowing this feeling. I stayed and listened to two songs before my train came.

Marching for Babies, and Coding at Broad

2008-03-13T12:24:00.003-04:00

This passed weekend, Tim, Rae Beth, Jackie, Ashley and I all made custom "Team Fiends" shirts for the March of Dimes March for Babies. All the credit, of course, goes to Ashley, who bought the shirts and puff paint, and got us all involved in the first place. She and I went to the March for Babies kickoff at the EMC clubhouse at Fenway a couple days ago. It was phenomenal to see Fenway from the inside for the first time. We're both dying to catch a game this summer. Nick and I both have thrown our hats in for the MIT Red Sox Raffle, which gives us at least a slim chance of getting super cheap tickets to one of 11 games this coming season. I'm crossing my fingers.

The MathWorks and Novartis both got back to me on my job applications this passed week. Pfft.

Work this week has been good. I'm still learning about the software (SO much code), and it looks like I'll be getting a new desk by a window before long. We're about to gain another office, and they were good enough to ask everyone their preferences. Excellent! Hopefully I'll be able to get a big ol' whiteboard wall installed as well. I want to write on EVERYTHING!!! As it stands, I have about 20 post-it's stuck all over the wall next to my current desk.

Anyway, I arranged for Ray, Anne and I to meet with my friend Curran today to talk about the visualization platform he built called JyVis, and consider it as a base for our new version of CellProfiler Analyst. The meeting went really well I think! It looks like there's a good chance that we'll be rewriting the whole thing in Python while using the JyVis as a model for our architecture. This is exciting news for me, not to mention Curran and Ray (who has been dying to get away from Java). It also makes me feel good to know that my connections to UML are still strong, and have potential for mutual benefit. Speaking of which, I'm meeting with Christine, Howie, and Hongli, all of whom I used to work with at the IVPR, next Tuesday for lunch.

After the meeting with Anne and Ray tonight, Curran and I headed out together and ended up bumping into a couple kids who talked to us for about 10 minutes about Greenpeace. I learned about how Kleenex is deforesting north western Canada, and how George Bush is stalling at putting polar bears on the endangered species list because we're drilling for oil. Neato. A few minutes later, Curran's friend Justin met us at Kendall. We walked down to the Cambridge Brewing Company (CBC) where Justin's girlfriend met up with us for food and drinks. We got a pitcher of Om, a 9.4% "venture into the world of beer and mystical experience", and a second pitcher of Saison Noire, which tasted like a magical garden filled with lilacs. Both were really good! We ended up staying there and talking for nearly 2 and a half hours. It was a great time.

Friday is coding day at Broad, something I'm looking forward to. It's the one day a month that the whole group locks ourselves in the Matterhorn conference room and work on bugs and enhancements all day long. Granted, this is what I do every day in my office, but coding day means I get company... and free pizza. I'm excited.

Gaining Momentum

2008-03-05T20:06:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm midway through my first week at the Broad. As expected, I'm going a mile a minute to just get acclimated to working in this new environment. Going to orientations, getting all the credentials, and setting up on all the systems are just the tip of the iceberg. I already have a massive todo list comprised of many things that I don't exactly know how to do just yet.

Still, I like the people I work with, and where we work. The energy of being in the city. The energy of being on the MIT campus... The energy of working with people whose intense curiosity is matched only by their drive to discover and create something new. I'm making friends as quickly as I'm falling in love with the city.

I also never expected to know so many people in the Cambridge area. Yesterday, I bumped into Curran on my way to the green line. Five minutes later I bumped into Jackie as we were getting off the same train car. I joined her for breakfast at Starbucks, then again for lunch at Au Bon Pain. That night, Nick and I hit Boston Beerworks for dinner and caught the Bruins game at the Garden (courtesy of Lincoln Labs). We had excellent seats, and even managed to catch Bruins shirts being thrown out to the audience by the Ice Girls. Today, Tim joined me at ABP for lunch, and tomorrow I'm meeting Curran for an early breakfast. Jamal is also in the area, so I'm hoping to sync up with him soon. Then there's Kat at BU, who I'll have to visit on campus and get some Jamba Juice while I'm there. Love it!

The Luminosity of the Mind

2008-02-29T07:53:00.006-05:00

It's 7:52am and I just strolled into work. I love coming in this early, when all the lights are still off, and everyone speaks in a low whisper. Today is my official "last" day of work at Brontes. I quote the word "last", because I will likely be back on a very limited basis when they need some graphics in a pinch. Nevertheless, I feel a little sad to be leaving since I truly love working for this company. At 4:00 I'll be hosting my first-ever and last-ever Friday social. Kerrie suggested an art theme, so we're going to play a few rounds of Brontes themed Pictionary. Should be fun.

Last night I was meditating on what the Dalai Lama calls the "luminosity of the mind." His choice of the word "luminosity" is interesting and I wasn't sure I agreed with it so I wanted to grok it. (Aside: This is my first ever use of the word grok, for which I thank Curran who introduced it to me.) The word luminosity flowed through my mind, picking up meaning, then dissolving, then being interrupted by other thoughts which in turn dissolved. I concentrated on transience, and then imagined the mind as a fire. Fire is luminous, so I liked the analogy anyway.

"Our consciousness burns like a fire on the kindling of our corporeal bodies."

Avoiding the illusion of self:
"Consciousness burns like a fire on the kindling of corporeal bodies."

There are certainly incongruities between the nature of how and why a fire burns, and how and why consciousness comes about, but the analogy still strikes me. It's a powerful image... people walking around with their heads on fire. A Buddhist monk, sitting with the tips of his thumbs just touching, and burning like a bonfire. An Alzheimer's sufferer blackened and charred with little more than a flicker left. How does the consciousness of someone in a coma burn? Is their mind merely a clump of red hot embers waiting to ignite? At any rate, I thought a lot about it, about what it is to clear the mind, to focus the mind, to sharpen the mind.

It all makes me want to paint again tonight.

"And when the world turns over, I'll keep my ears to the wall.
And when the world turns over, I'll keep my feet straight on the ground."
-NFG

Making My Own Lines

2008-02-27T15:57:00.009-05:00

Just a few things worth mentioning.

Ashley is back after a week in San Diego spent with family and friends. I picked her up at Logan yesterday and there was definitely a bit of nostalgia for our long-distance days. I love the energy at the airport, it's addictive. Hopefully, April 19th will come quickly, and I'll finally be able to sit on the same plane as my girl.

Spring needs to hurry the hell up and start putting buds on the trees. I need it, the warmth, the beach sand piling up in my car. I miss wearing sandals every day. I miss surfing. Any excuse to get outside. With any luck, I'll be capping off the season with a bit of spring skiing in March.

I did a couple paintings today. Up top is wave study #3 (as it looks under a warm lamp anyway). There's just something fun and challenging about getting a wave just right. Being that this is only #3, I've got a long way to go before I get the hang of it. The one below is the first one I did a while back.

Today I finally bought the album The Fall by On the Surface. It's been so long since I've seen Heather, Anthony and Matt. I'm still bummed that I somehow missed their last show at the Middle East Downstairs. Their music has gotten so damn good since Freshman year!

"Everyone leaves their own path.
Everyone leaves their tracks in the ground.
So look back and step by step - by step - by step - by step we are found.

Every road has it's contour.
Every hill seeming too steep to climb.
And the paths around the hills are long and narrow
spinning they wind me 'round

You were the flatlands, but I saw you standing on mountains.
I feared farewell, but I have found I'm alone in my lines.
Alone in my lies.

And the stones that held the foundation have cracked and weathered with time.
As the storm it raged and crashed and struck with mighty lightning that shined.
So the darkness became my armor defended by shadows and thieves.
With each silent step by step - by step - by step I hid in the ripened tree.

You were the flatlands, but I saw you standing on mountains.
I feared farewell but I have found I'm alone in my lines.

I am the dryland,
let your river flow into my land.
We can't say hello again without goodbye, but all in good time.
We can't say hello again without goodbye, but all in good time."
-On the Surface

Convenience

2008-02-22T15:57:00.004-05:00

I had a fire in my belly. I wanted to get out of this state, and do something new; to fly out of the country; to drive a thousand miles south, and watch the weather change gradually from cold and snowing to 80 degrees and sunny. Maybe I just wanted to do something that I won't forget to help me remember this exact moment in my life. In a short week, I'll be leaving my unstructured, freelancing ways for a full time work schedule. I'm excited to finally do so, but I want to make the best of what's left of it.

I don't mean to sound resentful, but the metaphorical fire in my belly has been metaphorically pissed on by pretty much everyone I turned to. Disappointment, I suppose, is what I'm feeling. It's unfortunate that we've reached the point in our lives when spontaneity is either impossible or inconvenient.

For me, this year is just about to get started, and so February is not too late to make goals for the new year. I have two:

Excel at work: The past few years in my life have been characterized by me spreading myself too thin between my interests. This year I will reinvest countless hours spent studying into work at Broad. What's more is I will finally be getting paid for it. Research and work are now one and the same.
Spend waking hours alive: There are 112 waking hours in a week. 40 of these will be spent at work. This leaves me with 72 hours to live my life however I want. My goal, is simply not to let convenience influence my actions too heavily. If I want to travel to Niagara Falls with Ashley, if I haven't spent much time with friends, if I suddenly feel like catching a swell in Florida, I'll do it.

168 hrs/week - 40 hrs work - 56 hrs sleep = 72 hrs living

"Plan B: Operation East Coast USA!!!"

2008-02-21T20:09:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting in the Eggroll Cafe. A big guy named Ian is playing the Ukulele and singing about having adventures in a fantasy land inside his cubicle.

I spent the better part of the day at Brontes. Kerrie convinced me to finally create a digital version of the company mascot I created months ago on a whiteboard, a lady dinosaur called the Brontesaurus. She's a cutie. Still, all I could think about was doing something drastic before I start work at Broad.

I was up late last night trying to find a partner in crime to drag with me to Europe, or on any adventure for that matter. So... Plan A: Operation Amsterdam is looking pretty bleak right now without a posse. Hence, I have formulated "Plan B: Operation East Coast USA!!!"

"Plan B: Operation East Coast USA!!!"
Step 1) Pack surf gear, clothes and a shit-load of cliff bars in my car.
Step 2) Drive to Florida (tonight?... tomorrow?)
Step 3) Surf JAX Beach
Step 4) See the Gulf of Mexico
Step 5) Get home by Monday morning.

The Undiscovered Music Genome Project

2008-02-21T09:39:00.004-05:00

I had an idea for a website. Pandora, also known as the Music Genome Project, has been a musical blessing to me. I've found so much new music there that I never would have found otherwise, so I can't help but think about how to extend it to new purposes. Ergo, my idea.

I do not pretend to know anything about the music industry, but it seems that there are a lot of bands who would like to be signed and few record labels looking for talent. Maybe the problem is that many of the labels, since the advent of Napster, are falling off the wave. I digress.

Anyway here's the idea, make a website dedicated to giving unsigned and indie artists the exposure they want: the Undiscovered Music Genome Project. Everyone is encouraged to submit their music. For each song they submit, they include a survey of it's musical characteristics, and each submission is QC'ed to Pandora standards before admission. The functionality would be mostly the same as Pandora except that voting would be 2 fold: "I like/dislike the sound", and "I like/dislike the artist." This way people and talent scouts can more quickly find the type of music they are looking for. Another idea would be to filter music by location so you can find local talent.

Two challenges would be: (1) Filtering and validating all the submissions. (2) Maintaining a database filled with fresh music (perhaps songs have expiration dates).

Just another idea. Someone go and make it happen.

Hi, I Have a New Job, Let's Go To Amsterdam!

2008-02-20T14:17:00.007-05:00

As of 2 minutes ago, I am officially accepting an offer from the Broad Institute, and will be starting work there within the next few weeks. Waaaahhoooooiiieeee!! To say that I am stoked would be quite an understatement.

Part of my excitement from this prospect has me seriously considering some impulsive behavior. Lemme 'splain. In talking about potential start dates for work, Anne (the Imaging Platform director) had suggested taking a week off before starting work. It's not a bad idea considering (1) the time I've been spending job hunting and working at Brontes, and (2) how much time I will be spending working at Broad in the weeks to come.

That said, I've found round trip tickets to Amsterdam for$438.00 (direct flight, tax & fees incl.). Madrid, Paris, Rome, Venice, and Athens are only slightly more expensive.

So who's in!? Wednesday, Feb. 27th - March 3/4/5/6...?
(Note, these tickets are $2,000-3,000 on any other day.)

[Correction: Feb.28th would be departure date as I am marching for babies with Ashley on the 27th. Without the science that this charity supports, I may not have a brother today. Chris was born 2 months premature, and lucky to make it out of the hospital after a month of in the NICU. I've never done a charity like this so I've set a modest goal of $50 to raise (compared to Ashley's $500.) So that means that you can help me get 20% closer to my goal by contributing just $10 to save babies that will ultimately look like this.]

PS: I just watched a lunar eclipse. Is that a sign?

Cute Little Robot Dream and Nick's Birthday

2008-02-18T12:42:00.003-05:00

Because I feel compelled to write about my wacky dreams...

Last night my father got our family two new pets, a golden retriever puppy, and a little robot! The puppy was adorable, but the robot was equally endearing. On Halloween, it put a little white sheet over itself and trucked around the house pretending to be a ghost. I nearly tripped over the little bugger since he was only about a foot and a half tall. "Awww, how'd you get so smart?!" I said.

On Saturday Ash and I celebrated Nick's birthday with him back in Salisbury. We went out to dinner at The Grog. Nick suggested seats near the bookcase where we found Scrabble and played a game before our meals came. I ended up with some pretty decent words for someone buzzing like a fool off a beer on an empty stomach. After dinner we headed back to Nick's where we had dessert with his family, and my parents swung by. Great night all-in-all. Welcome to 25 Nick!

Paper Hearts

2008-02-17T20:28:00.008-05:00

I got the job! I was at Brontes on Friday when the imaging platform director called me and told me that they'll be making me an offer first thing next week. Even as I write this I still can't believe it. If I take this offer, I'll be spending forty hours a week coding; forty hours applying what I've learned in the past six and a half years to build an amazing piece of visualization software for biologists. This may be the best entry point into the industry I could have asked for.

Switching gears completely. Valentine's Day was great. I spent the entire day and previous night working on a Valentine for Ashley in the form of an installation piece in her room. I cut out, wrote on, and hung up over two hundred construction-paper hearts, turning the ceiling into a big, dangling rainbow. Ash blew me away by singing a song she wrote that completely captures the essence of our unique relationship in a folky beat. I love it, and I love that she's still surprising me with her talent. If I only played the banjo! Haha! Anyway, we capped the night off with sushi, chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne. Delicious.

Today we went for a long walk to Salem State and came back along a bike trail. Tim and Rae joined us for the rest of the day. We all went bowling, shopping, and saw a movie. It was the longest impromptu double-date ever.

Ash heads back to San Diego tomorrow. I don't know what to do with myself this coming week besides work at Brontes. Maybe I'll paint.

Magic Carpet Dream

2008-02-14T09:54:00.004-05:00

Last night I dreamt I found a magic carpet. I was flying over some foreign landscape that seemed to be a cross between the Barcelona coast, Tamalpais Valley (north of San Francisco), and Neverland. The carpet was more like a blanket that functioned like a ram-air parachute.

SO MUCH fun!

Broad and Brontes

2008-02-13T22:01:00.004-05:00

I took the train into Boston/Cambridge yesterday morning for an interview with the imaging platform at Broad. Things started around 9:00, and I got to interview with 6 different members of the group up until 3:00. The thought of giving a presentation had me pretty nerved up on the way in, but it actually went pretty well. I was posed a lot of really good questions, and learned a good deal about the general setup and workflow: Who does what, how Cell Profiler Analyst (CPA) works, and so on. Right off the bat, I found myself comparing it to the UVP and JyVis, but the people interacting with it would be experimental biologists. The star feature of the software is a machine learning algorithm that lets biologists teach CPA to classify the cells as positive or negative for a particular phenotype. Overall, it's an extremely powerful (and useful) piece of software that needs an overhaul and some streamlining. Ideas were practically leaking out of my head.

Last night I headed to Salem for a little celebration with Tim and Ashley at the Beer Works. Then this morning, school was delayed at Bates so Ash and I got to sleep in.

I worked at Brontes for 9 hours today. Designed some new icons for VAMM, and ended up getting pretty good at drawing teeth on the Wacom tablet. The key being to keep in mind how many cusps are on each tooth and where. What ended up taking up most of my time though, was starting to clean things up and write some documentation for my eventual replacement. I wound up writing a UI Design Guideline reference. Once I started losing steam on that, I started another document to highlight current challenges and goals in the UI, and who to talk to when designing certain types of components. It was quite the mind clearing exercise. What's nice about this is that even if I'm still working at Brontes a month from now, I'll be able to build a stronger foundation of documentation and guidelines which will ultimately help the UI group standardize implementations for each widget. The more they can do that, the more they can automate, and the more they can automate, the more they can start thinking about more interesting things like implementing motion design and pushing the implementation of drag and drop functionality.

*sigh* It'll definitely be sad when I finally hand this all over to another designer. At the interview yesterday, I was asked whether there were any large scale projects that I took from start all the way to completion, and it feels like this is the only one. The ground we have covered in a year and a half has been tremendous, but there's still so much more I'd like to see done.

More Coding, Interviews, and Academics

2008-02-08T22:02:00.000-05:00

» Yesterday I spent a couple hours to a program that visualizes (in 3D) the differences between pdb files. This is handy to see how my MD system compression script works.

» I also checked out Curran's JyVis platform from sourceforge and started tinkering. I have an idea to extend parallel coordinate visualizations to emphasize outliers, by clumping similar records. This marks my first experience with sourceforge and CVS. It's all easy-peasy with Eclipse! :]

» Today I decided to pay off my remaining 4 car payments before the final. I almost own my car!

» BioTeam contacted me this morning to set up a phone interview!

» Apparently I didn't fill out my graduation clearance form last semester, even though I thought I filled out a D.I.G. Therefore, I have to wait until this spring to get my M.S. degree. I'll also be paying $85 to keep "in status." Uhhhggg!!!

» The Lowell Winterfest Photo exhibit opens tomorrow. It feels so good to finally have those prints matted and framed.

» Tuesday I'm setting sail for Cambridge to take my first steps inside the glorious Broad Institute and interview with the Imaging Platform group. I'll be the first to interview for this position, so let's hope I leave a lasting impression. *crosses fingers* ...still, I'm not sure what work I'll present to them.

» Dr. Catherine Plaisant will be in Lowell on Wednesday holding colloquium on "Visualizing Patterns: Repetition patterns in text, and temporal patterns in Electronic Health Records." I met and worked with Dr. Plaisant at VAST 2006 in Baltimore and she left a good impression on me, so I'm looking forward to hearing her French accent again.

Career Search 2008 Kicks Up a Notch!

2008-02-07T00:55:00.000-05:00

Ashley and I celebrated our 4/3 anniversary (that is, our 16th monthiversary) yesterday by going out for a groovy dinner at Sylvan Street Grille. This, of course, was after doing an hour of P90X plyometrics which left us completely starving. We had some good conversation anyway, then headed home to an early night's sleep since Ash had to get up at 6:00 for her new job at Bates Elementary.

Make no mistake, I slept in this morning until around 8:30 when I got up and headed to Jaho to work on a job application for a Bioinformatics Software Developer position at Codon Devices in Cambridge. This one looks very interesting, so I'll probably call tomorrow if I don't hear back from them.

Tim met me at Jaho for breakfast around 10:30, then we headed to his place to transfer all of his photos for Winterfest into my car so I could bring them back to the lab. (Note to self: use adorama for next batch of large prints.) The poor bastard was up last night until 6:00am matting and framing photos. Effff thaaat!

From Salem, I headed back to Salisbury to pick up a ton of frames I had left at home. I gave Chris a ring, and he and I grabbed lunch together at Subway in near where he was working in Seabrook. The line moved painfully slow since there was only one woman there handling the whole lunch rush. We talked about OSHA, "Remember Charlie", and commercial/industrial electrical contracting agencies vs. small companies like the one he works for now. It's always good times with brother Chris.

Anyway, I got back home with plenty of time to spare before my second phone interview with the Broad Institute Imaging Platform. I killed an hour or two doing more Test Driven Development (TDD) in Eclipse (freakin rad, seriously). By the time 3:45 rolled around, I had worked up a good nervous tick, and felt completely scatterbrained. I feared the interview would be a disaster. Then the phone rang.

I was at ease from the moment she started talking to me about the research group and her position. It was awesome to hear someone so passionate about her work. I felt like I could have finished her sentences for her. When she told me about how the system uses a machine learning algorithm that is essentially trained by the biologists to phenotype cells, I knew exactly how I would have done it, and that's how they did it! I was ecstatic and confident at the same time. We ended the call with the plan to schedule an in-person interview... I'll even have to prepare a presentation of my work as a sort-of ice-breaker for the group. This definitely puts the pressure on, hopefully in a good way.

Last, but not least, I spent the remainder of the night, from 5:00 until midnight in the photo lab matting and framing. Monika made flyers with my photo on them, and left them all over the place. I even got a compliment from Missy's mom! Haha, nice! It just occurred to me how long this entry is getting. Suffice it to say that I'm done for now unless I can find cheap 20x24" frames and matte board.

*sigh* ...what a day.

Toaster Strudels Eclipse Harvest Moon

2008-02-04T23:39:00.000-05:00

Slow day today. I spent the morning poking around for jobs online, had some cereal and a couple Toaster Strudels (mMMMmm). Visited some people up in the research labs in Olsen around 11, then spent a good part of the day at Eggroll Cafe learning to use the Eclipse IDE for Java development. So far, I'm loving it. Finally, after a couple good conversations with Joel and Zach, I headed to the photo lab where I spent the remainder of the day and night working on a photo exhibition with Monika. I've got about 20 prints picked out for the show, and managed to matte 10 from my Harvest Moon series. So far, so good.

The good: I have a phone interview with the director of the Imaging Platform at Broad Institute on Wednesday.
The bad: So many applications, so few interviews.
The ulgy: The Patriots lost Superbowl XLII to effing New York.

Sam and I Fought Off Two Lions in My Backyard

2008-01-31T11:16:00.000-05:00

Last night my dog Sam was barking in the backyard. I went outside to find a lion cub on the deck swatting at Sam with paws the size of dessert plates. I yelled at Sam to get in the house and immediately began to fear the presence of the parents of the lion cub. Sure enough, below the back staircase to the deck was an enormous, adult, male lion. Sam barked like crazy at it, and the lion bit at his face catching his lip in his giant fangs. People were calling at me from inside the house to get inside, but Sam was in trouble. Barely thinking, I climbed up on the railing of the deck and jumped off it drop-kicking the lion in the shoulders (seriously). Immediately I realized the futility of my actions and panic sat in. I thought about how I wished that I just slid down the back staircase, grabbed Sam's collar from behind and ran him back up the stairs. Then, with the thought in my head, next thing I knew, I had Sam's collar in my right hand and we were on our way up the deck.

And then I woke up.

Dream / Jobs

2008-01-30T22:15:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a very, very long dream. In words, it is too long to type, but too good not to mention the primary features.

I made friends with a real live gnome about 5" tall.
I could fly like superman.
I wore a deep sea SCUBA suit.
I was late for middle school.

Today I applied to BioTeam, a hardcore consulting company that custom builds solutions for life-science businesses. A coworker who knows one of the directors referred me to them. It's a long shot since the team is extremely elite, but if I'm lucky, maybe they're looking for a code-monkey with a background in molecular biology and user experience design.

To date, I've applied to 6 jobs at MIT's Broad Institute, and I'm beginning to fear their careers page is a black hole for resumés. I've got to make some calls.

Two More Jobs at Broad

2008-01-30T00:37:00.001-05:00

I applied for two new positions today...

Software Engineer II - Tuberculosis Database
Associate Computational Biologist - Genome Biology Program

...follow up phone calls tomorrow.

Romance on the Road

2008-01-29T23:32:00.000-05:00

Today 3 deer crossed right in front of my car on a back-road in Lexington. They politely waited until I came to a complete stop, then crossed to the other side where 2 of their friends were waiting.

On Sunday I took Ashley out to dinner at The Old Salt in Hampton. It was a cold calm night, though the wind at the beach was stirring up the surf. We drove up to New Market where Antje Duvekot was playing The Stone Church Meetinghouse. She played a great set with a new love song, and an old one called Merry Go Round that Bank of America recently paid her $50,000 to use in a commercial. (Listen). Meanwhile, Ashley and I doodled in my sketchbook as we listened.

I love nights like these, and I've been in dire need of a touch of romance as of late. I'm hopeless - I know. I offer no excuses, and yet it's still not enough for me that I write all this down. Driving home, Ashley sang me the first line of a song she wrote. That line has had me on cloud nine for three days. Here's to February and more pleasant surprises!

Oh my lover, won't you write me a love song?
With passion of clover, won't you paint me fields o' green?
Inspire my heart with sweet breath from your lungs.
I'm not coming home 'til you speak love to me.

The Best Idea I Ever Had

2008-01-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

Last night I formulated the best idea I have ever had. I say this with no exaggeration. Here is how it formulated in my brain...

"If I could only listen to one album for the rest of my life it would be Incubus - S.C.I.E.N.C.E." I was thinking about how Alyssa and I were talking about our favorite music after dinner with Kevin. She liked Minus the Bear.

And then this phrase formed in my mind because I've had work on my mind lately, "If I could only work for one company for the rest of my life it would be..." I had to stop and think. Because working for one company would be a huge thing. Would my life's work be in building computational tools to make experimental biologists' work easier and thus permitting breakthroughs in science? I like doing this type of work because it's the type of thing that helps people cure once-thought incurable diseases. However, it's a roundabout way of helping mankind.

Then I thought of A Christmas Carol (seriously), and how when Scrooge speaks of "good business" Marley tells him that "mankind was his business." This is a profound message, and whenever I see the play it gives me chills up my spine. So I thought again about my answer and finished the sentence: "If I could only work for one company for the rest of my life it would be mankind."

But what I like about advancing science is that it can help people on a greater scale. Yes, helping just one person is a great enough scale for that person, but in my head I wanted to be of more help. I thought, "I can't afford to help those less fortunate on a significant scale." Then I thought, "Some wealthy people can't help themselves despite their wealth." And so I came to the solution:

"Help the wealthy to help those less fortunate than themselves, and therefore, help themselves in doing so."

Of course there's a big difference between helping people in third world countries and just throwing money at them. This would have to be an up close and personal experience if anyone would come out better in the end. Nevertheless, all specifics aside, this is the best idea I have ever had. I write it here for two reasons. One, I don't want to forget it. And two, the best ideas should be given away so anyone can make them work.

Weekend, Interviews, and Photos

2008-01-21T23:46:00.000-05:00

Tonight I have many scattered and relatively unimportant things to write, nevertheless I shall write them as they come to me.

First off, the Patriots are going to the Superbowl again! My whole family gathered together on Sunday and watched both games. I love this tradition. Speaking of traditions, Sunday also marked the finale of The Amazing Race. Ashley and I have been rooting for "the hippies" Rachel and TK from the start and they freakin' won! w00h00! Rest assured, soon enough we will applying for our chance to travel the world and win a million dollars! Saturday, the roomies and I threw a massively successful '90s-themed party. Good times were had by all who attended. Today (Monday) was strange, lots of little ups and downs that manifested themselves inside my head and my aching, feverish body. I'm happy to say, it is ending on a high note. I took a nice 2 hour nap and some ibuprofen around 7:00pm, and now I feel like a million bucks! Go figure.

This week has gotten off to a slow start, but I've still got a lot to look forward to. Tomorrow morning I'll help Silvi get started with my hexadecane research. Then Nick and I are meeting for lunch and our 3rd Matlab/C++ tutorial session.

On Wednesday I have a phone interview with the Imaging Platform at MIT's Broad Institute. The research group there built a piece of software called CellProfiler which helps biologists perform automated phenotyping of thousands of images of cell plates. This type of stuff is extremely interesting to me so I really want this job. I don't usually get nervous for interviews... this one I'm very nervous for.

Thursday I have another phone interview with eScription, a privately held company that leads the market in speech recognition software for medical transcription. I was actually contacted by the manager of the speech recognition and natural language processing technologies group about a software engineer role they are trying to fill. I'm very confident for this interview, but I really need to see what kind of company they keep before I seriously think about working there.

I'm trying to get an interview with The MathWorks for a position working on their SimBiology product. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one because I've heard this is a great company to work for, and the nature of the work is right up my alley.

Lastly, I've posted some new and old photos on flickr. Here are a couple portraits of girlf'iend...

Miscellany

2008-01-17T09:39:00.001-05:00

I skied Waterville yesterday with Mike Baier and his friend Missy. Conditions were beautiful, no lines, and the park was a blast.

Last night I joined LinkedIn, a professional networking site, to help bolster my connections to people in my industry. I was surprised to find a LOT of people I've worked/studied under on here. Thanks much to Will at Brontes for linking me in!

Money is still painfully tight right now. With each day my bank account tightens like a noose around my neck. Rent was due yesterday, and I post-dated the check to when I get paid... never done that before, but my landlord said it was okay. I need to really start selling my unneeded books from college.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

2008-01-15T20:21:00.000-05:00

Finished another book today. Finishing books makes me proud of myself even though I'm not sure if reading fiction has any more value than watching a movie. At the very least it helps me read faster, and stimulates some thought.

Anyway, the book is called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. It's written from the perspective of an autistic savant named Christopher. One night he finds his neighbor's standard poodle dead on the lawn with a pitch fork stuck in it. Christopher reasons that someone probably murdered the dog, and decides to write a murder mystery novel about it. Like Sherlock Holmes, he would play the part of a veracious detective to discover the dog's killer. His curiosity gets him more answers than he bargained for, and Christopher finds himself in the middle of his own dizzying suspense adventure.

The book has received much acclaim, but I think this review says it best...

"Heart-in-the-mouth stuff, terrifying and moving. Haddon is to be congratulated for imagining a new kind of hero."
-The Daily Telegraph

...because this book is told from the perspective of a different kind of person. Haddon's empathy is astonishing in his writing. What at first seems dispassionately funny will leave you with a smile and a tear in your eye.

New England Snow and Ancient Empires

2008-01-15T14:17:00.000-05:00

It is beautiful outside. I drove to work from Salem this morning and everything was caked in pure white from the storm yesterday. Every branch of every tree was laden with snow. Dark wet tree bark, cold shadows, and jet black pavement brought the contrast to a threshold as though the scene were drawn on paper in India ink. Even the signs on the highway were difficult to read through the frosting.

As for other climates, tickets are officially purchased for both Mexico, and Peru! I'll be snorkeling and exploring Mayan ruins in Cancun with Ashley and her parents from April 19th to the 26th. And from May 8th to the 20th, Tim and I will be hiking the Andes from Cuzco to the Inca ruins of Machu Picchu.

My excitement is immeasurable!

Virginia Mae Leva

2008-01-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

What a week this has been. Jon's grandmother passed away on Sunday. Ginny's wake and funeral was held yesterday at HL Farmer & Sons Funeral Home in Haverhill. The place was beautiful, and there were so many people there. Jon gave the most beautiful eulogy I ever expect to hear. I laughed at the funny memories, and, oh man, did I cry. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. In Ginny's life, she affected so many others through her love and hospitality, and she was loved in return. I'll miss her, but I will remember her.

A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action

2008-01-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

The job hunt continues, but I'm glad to say everything else is moving along really well. Today I spoke with a rep. named Mike at Bank of America in Bedford, and finally got my finances squared away. I had $160 in overdraft fees removed, a new checking account set up, and got approved for a new credit card to link to my checking for overdraft protection. The guy reminded me of Jon a lot, and anyway, he completely made my day. Now it's just a matter of working a lot and saving every penny to pay for rent, my ski pass, and plane tickets to Cancun and Lima! Yikes!

Tonight I got talking to Nick who's also fishing for work. He has a second interview with MIT coming up, which is very cool. It would be amazing if we both ended up working in Cambridge together, but right now things are still completely open for me. It's anyone's guess where I'll end up. At any rate, we talked about how a lot of the jobs he's been applying for like to see experience in C++, and some of the jobs I've looked at like experience in Matlab. The timing couldn't be better to teach each other these things. Thursday we're meeting in Lowell to get started. I'll be teaching Nick C and C++, while he teaches me Matlab! I couldn't be more excited. I keep thinking about the order of the topics I'll teach and the problems I'll give him to solve... the same things I've learned time and again in so many languages...

i/o
variables and arrays
conditionals
loop structures
file i/o
basic math and math.h
functions
recursive functions
pointers
structs
linked lists, stacks, trees, and graphs
classes and object orientated programming

Time to dig up the old ANSI C book!

Life of Pi

2008-01-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

Last night I finished Life of Pi.

Piscine Molitor Patel, known to all as Pi, grows up on a zoo. Whether out of curiosity or sheer boredom, he studies and learns to embrace the religions of Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism. The political situation in India becomes such that Pi's father decides that they must sell the zoo and leave the country. The cargo ship the family is on tragically sinks in the middle of the Pacific ocean and Pi finds himself stranded in a lifeboat with a Hyena, a Zebra, an Orangutan, and a Bengal Tiger named Richard Parker. Before long, it's just Pi, Richard Parker and the Pacific. Pi, armed with years of applied education in zoology, knows he has no chance in killing the 450 lb beast with the few tools he has available. Instead, Pi finds his life and Richard Parker's locked in a delicate equilibrium. As much as the tiger depends on Pi's ability to provide food and water, Pi would die of loneliness and despair without his companion.

This book was fantastic, it makes profound connections between religion and story telling, between science and nature, and between life and love. My brain is still spinning.

I Was Never One for Fishing

2008-01-04T11:34:00.000-05:00

Job hunting is HARD. When considering my options between a doctorate and working in industry, the easier of the two seemed obvious. I suppose I expected the fish to just jump in the boat as they have in the past.

The problem with being a UI designer swimming in the biotech ocean is that the only sea life that is interested in you is back in the old design pond. Fish are not jumping in my boat. Frogs, crabs, clams, boots, and sopping wet ham sandwiches are jumping in my boat. No fish. The kicker is what the frogs, crabs et al. are willing to pay. The fish, on the other hand, are only interested if you have a PhD and 5-10 years of experience.

Today I caught myself reconsidering the doctorate. It would mean taking ONE qualifying exam in algorithms, then smooth sailing with visualization research in bioinformatics. Oomph! The more I think about it, the more idealistic it sounds... except, of course, for the part where I don't have any money.

Short term goals:

Apply for Associate Computational Biologist position at Broad Institute, MIT.
Keep birthday-calling Tim and telling him how flabby and old he is.
Beat Meng in another game of chess.
Print photos.
Pick up Check
Mail thank-yous
Birthday present for Tim.
Build a lamp (purchase base, cut bamboo, wrap twine, etc)
Radiator fluid for car
Buy ski pass
Fill out deferment form

Long term goals:

Finish Cebula contract
Finish Brontes contract
Get a job.
Save money.
Paint more.
Frame photography.
Cancun in April
Machu Picchu in May

Gain Weight in '08!

2008-01-02T23:19:00.000-05:00

Is everything moving in slow motion right now, or is it just me? I'm stuck with a familiar feeling of being trapped in mud... I've written about this feeling before, I know I have.

Today I woke up in Salem and made it to the Brontesaurus by 8:30. As usual, I ate a triple-decker egg, ham, and cheese sandwich for breakfast. I finished a few UI glyphs, sat through a presentation, ate a ham and swiss sub for lunch, and sent Greg a graphic for the training manual. I also caught up with Alex, and he agreed to let me use him as a reference in my search for a employment. He even surprised me with a Starbucks gift card for Christmas. His wife just gave birth to their first son before the holidays, this at the same time as they were moving into their new home. I can only imagine the excitement and exhaustion.

As for me, it's "Blank Slate in '08." I need to format my life and defragment my brain.

I'm also partial to the slogan: "Gain Weight in '08."

Anyway, I've gotten distracted, I was stuck in mud... I suppose I accomplished a few things today. My to-do list may not be diminishing, but at least I'm crossing things off as fast as I'm writing new ones down. Besides, I'm making some money, which right now is of paramount importance considering I'm on the verge of selling snowballs to the kids on Mount. Pleasant.

After work, I put myself through a good workout at the gym that left me feeling refreshed and stinky. When I got home however, I was unfortunate to find that we're having a problem with our water heater. I couldn't withstand the cold shower for more than 15 seconds.

The rest of my night I spent reading Life of Pi. It's safe to say it... I'm addicted to this book. I highly recommend it to anyone with a curious mind and a strong imagination. I love it. Half the reading I did at home, the other half at Eggroll where I also caught up with Mike, Meng, Tina, and Sengly. I gave them 3 games for the cafe for Christmas (Candy Land, Battleship, and Chess). Hopefully they'll get many miles of use out of them. Seriously, who doesn't love Battleship?! 2B or not 2B?

2B.

Freedom is Fleeting

2007-12-28T14:37:00.000-05:00

Hello freedom!

You taste nearly as sweet as I dreamt you would. Still, my thoughts are completely scattered right now. I'm having so much trouble focusing. I think it's because I know that I'm still not completely finished. I still need to finish one more web design contract and check off a million to-dos from my ever-growing list.

On the plus side, it turns out, I aced my last grad class this semester which gives me a 3.9 cumulative GPA for my graduate record. I'm stoked. Moreover, I talked to my co-worker Kerri today who offered to hook me up with a great recruiter. Everyone is being so helpful right now, I just hope the job I'm picturing in my head exists somewhere... somewhere on the north shore even.

Today I noticed that my checking account was overdrawn by $39. NOT good. Fortunately, I sold a graphics card on craigslist yesterday and picked up $50 cash for that first thing this morning. A trip to Market Basket for Corn flakes, bread, and honey served as a proper turning point into my newfound financial status: "broke." Next on the list, applying for deferment on my loans until such time as I am gainfully employed.

It's 3 o'clock now, and I'm kicking myself for not checking the surf report last night. Apparently Hampton was hitting perfectly today, and I'm absolutely dying to get in the water. Heck, I'm dying to just get out and exert some energy. This is the type of distraction that's keeping me from finishing this website. Maybe I'll hit the gym.

[edit: 3:18] I'm going to the gym.

Tabula Rasa

2007-12-17T22:30:00.000-05:00

A surge of electrical current has just rushed through my brain, and leapt over a vast synapse that, until now, resided un-traversed in my mind. The connection now bridges two very large and important entities in my mind in a way that they have never been connected.

Up until now, the idea of college and what it means to me has always had a connection with the career path that lay before me. Today however, the very idea of college is falling into the past-tense. The seemingly unending list of objectives that have been on my plate for 6 and 1/2 years now are finally being completed.

At 10:23pm, I clicked "send" on an email composed to a professor I've studied under for the past two years. I sent him a copy of my resumé for review. This action marks the beginning of my search for a career. I'm not one to take note of major landmarks in my life as I pass them by, but this one caught me off guard. What an unbelievable place I am currently standing in! This marks a time to consider the road ahead, to remember the path I traveled to get here, and to revisit the things I learned along the way.

I feel like I've been handed a "tabula rasa." So, in the interest of being a meditative human being; and in order to expose my curiosity and inspiration to others, I started this blog. This is something I've been meaning to do for some time now, but I there was something holding me back... I needed an impetus, and I needed the right title. Tonight I've found both.

Welcome to Human Magic Marker, a new slate on which I will try my best to arrange my disorganized thoughts. The title, most will guess, pays tribute to my favorite song, Redefine, by Incubus...

"Imagine your brain as a canister filled with ink.
Yeah, now think of your body as the pen where the ink resides.
Fuse the two - KAPOW!
What are you now?
You're the human magic marker, won't you please surprise my eyes?
It's in your nature, you can paint whatever picture you like,
No matter what Ted Koppel says on channel 4 tonight
So modify this third rock from the sun
By painting myriads of pictures with the colors of one
I'm sick of painting in black and white
My pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself to fit your definition.
Picture the scene, where whatever you thought,
Would, in the blink of an eye, manifest and become illustrated.
You'd be sure man that every line drawn
Reflected a life that you loved not an existence that you hated
So, must we demonstrate that we can't get it straight?
We've painted a picture, now we're drowning in paint.
Let's figure out what the fuck it's about
Before the picture we painted chews us up and spits us out.
I'm sick of painting in black and white
My pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself to fit your definition.
Redefine."

Peace, love and happiness,
Adam N. Fraser